chronitarium unleashed

2005-12-30T14:26:00.000-05:00

01. I am a dreamer.
02. I want to be a footnote in a book someday.
03. I am not colorblind.
04. Kurt Cobain is quite possibly the only person whose corpse I would seriously consider having sex with.
05. I have seen snow before.
06. I always forget when I am cooking and start kitchen catastrophies.
07. I don't like men, but I don't like women either.
08. I have never had a girlfriend, but I would like to someday.
09. I feel like I was born in the wrong time period.
10. I want to live in a downtown studio apartment, but I also want a house with a wrap-around porch.
11. I have the black thumb of death when it comes to plants and/or small pets.
12. Sometimes, I talk to myself.
13. If any small, sharp, pain inducing object is on the floor/ground, my foot will find it.
14. I love to be barefoot.
15. Some music makes me sad. And I like it.
16. I love giving gifts to people, even if it’s not a special day.
17. I want to be a revolution all by myself.
18. I don't know what I want to be.
19. I have never seen The Godfather or Pulp Fiction.
20. I like getting things in the mail.
21. I'd be ashamed if I were ever a First Lady
22. I pretend that everything is okay to protect the ones I love.
23. I am anal about my feet and hands--I like for them to always be clean. If they are dirty, I feel gross until I get to a sink.
24. I procrastinate. A lot.
25. I have trouble not singing to songs I know. Even if I hate them.
26. I am happier as an atheist than I ever was as a Christian.
27. My whole family thinks I am just going through a phase.
28. I love to take pictures, even though I don’t get to do it as much as I’d like.
29. I sometimes get jealous.
30. I am a lot more bisexual than I will ever admit to most people.
31. My parents are divorced. And I'm glad.
32. I'm a packrat. I never throw anything out.
33. Going to the beach during a hurricane and a really good concert are my chosen religious experiences. Not religious, but they sound like good times.
34. I need a vacation from myself.
35. I speak only English fluently, and that makes me sad.
36. I'm a desperate insomniac.
37. I'm a music snob, and this doesn't bother me.
38. I love candle-light.
39. When I was really little, I asked my mom if I could marry my dad. She said no, and I was mad.
40. I like the way my cheeks get flushed after being out in the snow, or the slight red I get when I have a mild sunburn on my face.
41. I am addicted to 24.
42. I take really, really, really long baths.
43. I think I have the capacity for alcoholism.
44. If I ever got jury duty, I would be ecstatic. I think it sounds like such fun.
45. Money is very important to me.
46. I have a lot of issues with my family. Especially my mother.
47. I am the oldest child.
48. I have a great boyfriend and still wonder about the possibilities.
49. I piss myself off a lot.
50. I am loved.
51. Words fascinate me.
52. I am very independent.
53. I need more sleep.
54. My car is one of the most important things to me. It is my key to freedom; my escape, should I need one.
55. People think I'm funny. I think?
56. I think I'm funny, too.
57. My boyfriend gave me too many stuffed animals and I had to put them in a box in the attic when I left for college.
58. I'm scatter-brained.
59. I love time period costumes, and want to wear them every day.
60. I can dance.
61. I am always reading at least one book.
62. I wish I could fly.
63. I'm afraid of heights.
64. I have a lot of drive, but have problems keeping interest in things I have started.
65. I love to argue.
66. I have an innie belly button.
67. I suffer from chronic pain.
68. I should be asleep right now.
69. I have strong affection for ice cream.
70. When people ask me if I smoke, I smile and say, "Not cigarettes."
71. I have a fetish for 80's music.
72. I think I have an unhealthy obsession with music. But I don't mind.
73. Once, I was able to have a lucid dream, but it was so exhausting that I've never tried it again.
74. I would love to have more money.
75. I have a habit of arguing with the television.
76. I just found out that blue was the original color of St. Patrick's Day.
77. I like to surprise my friends with stupid trivia.
78. I love politics. As in, I pay attention to them
79. I am having an identity crisis.
80. I like jigsaw puzzles from time to time.
81. I am crazy.
82. I enjoy eating tomato sandwiches. If there is melted cheese, then yes.
83. I hate George W. Bush with every fiber of my being.
84. I keep notes on the things that Texas has done to piss me off.
85. I can be very stubborn.
86. I don't make my bed in the morning, I make it right before I go to bed.
87. I need more clothes.
88. I still stick my tongue out at people.
89. I don't like to yawn in front of people.
90. If I had the money, I would buy DVD box sets of all my favorite TV shows.
91. We used to cruise at the Oceanfront with the windows down, blasting Bon Jovi
92. I am still afraid of the dark.
93. I believe in ghosts, or at least I wish I did.
94. I love hugs.
95. I like to watch movies that I've already seen with people who haven't.
96. I am very picky with some things, others I don’t worry about.
97. Purple is my favorite color.
98. I have a sticker that says "sinner" on my car.
99. I wonder if anyone has de-bolded and changed number 100 since the first occurrence of this survey.
100. I do not have a name for my mattress.

I've done more than 3 drugs.
I live on the West coast.
I have been to Mexico.
I bite my nails bloody.
I don't care what anyone says.
I love everyone.
Hot chocolate is the best.
I have an IPod.
I wish I had an IPod.
I go online all the time and talk.
I go online all the time and put on an away message.
I am single and loving it.
I've been dating someone for a year now.
Music is what I live for.
Harry Potter rules.
I've never been on a plane.
Snapple rocks.
AOL sucks.
I love my family.
I have been to/live in California.
Yellow is a beautiful color.
I've had a dream about sex.
I'm a virgin.
My school has over 5,000 kids.
Bush is an idiot.
I have never tried alcohol.
I have a step parent.
I own one pair of shoes.
Bright Eyes is lovely.
I'm a morning person. If it's after 5 and before 10.
At least one of my parents is a doctor.
I'm a sap and no one knows it.
I hide so many things in my life.
I don't know the word "regret."
80's movies are the greatest.
Drugs run in my family.
I dance to lose weight.
I wish my life never turned out the way it did.
I know what is at the end of a rainbow

Bold the Ones that Appeal to You

1. watching the sunset
2. hearing your favorite song
3. getting new clothes
4. taking a hot shower
5. laughing until it hurts
6. breaking peoples hearts
7. listening to rap
8. listening to country
9. watching the simpsons
10. watching pimp my ride
11. making fun of people
12. getting your siblings in trouble
13. standing up for people
14. seeing everyone else around you happy, and knowing youre not
15. jumping rope
16. scoring in sports
17. getting good grades
18. finding $20 from last year
19. finding out your crush likes you too
20. having sexual intercourse [of any kind, kissing, sex, etc.] Kissing is NOT sexual intercourse you retard.... good point, Twin.
21. people of the opposite sex
22. holding hands with someone you like I like holding hands in general...
23. self-mutilation
24. eating Within reason....I don't eat just to eat, but I enjoy eating good food.
25. driving
26. talking on the phone
27. talking on the comp
28. downloading music
29. getting into fights
30. writing poetry
31. singing
32. playing an instrument
33. dancing
34. playing sports
35. watching football
36. watching ice hockey
37. watching baseball
38. watching basketball
39. Painting your nails
40. going to formals
41. going out to eat
42. celebrating your bday w. friends
43. celebrating your bday w. family
44. going to the movies
45. renting movies w. your boyfriend/girlfriend
46. renting movies w. your best friends Tacos have a sense of humor!
47. eating dinner w. your family
48. eating pizza
49. meeting new people
50. drinking chocolate milkshakes
51. watching disney classics
52. going to school
53. going to concerts
54. going to punk rock shows folk...?
55. opposite sex|preps
56. opposite sex|punks
57. opposite sex|hicks
58. opposite sex|emos
59. not attracted to one certain group
60. winning solitaire
61. getting awards
62. working
63. cleaning your room
64. organizing your closet
65. helping the elderly
66. little kids
67. getting drunk or any kind of high
68. smiling for no reason - haha how ironic ^
69. this number
70. arm wrestling
71. riding the school bus
72. walking
73. exercising
74. telling lies
75. keeping secrets
76. starting rumors
77. complaining
78. being a bitch
79. being a prick
80. talking about people
81. eating ice cream cake
82. spraying whip cream in your mouth
83. doing homework
84. hanging with your best friends
85. going to highschool football games
86. doing highschool social events
87. blasting your music until you get in trouble - i dont fucking get in trouble...lol
88. cats
89. dogs
90. your animals
91. tattoo(s)
92. piercing(s)
93. tattoo(s) on the opposite sex
94. piercing(s) on the opposite sex
95. getting comments on your lj
96. getting msgs when your away
97. drinking coke
98. this survey
99. finishing this survey

1. i have been to las vegas, nevada.
2. my cell phone company is verizon.
3. i had an apple for breakfast.
4. saturday night live is the best.
5. i have a job.
6. i read an entertainment magazine every week.
7. i have asthma.
8. why does summer have to end?
9. i bought the new Fall Out Boy cd.
10. i have an alarm clock.
11. i've never been to the zoo.
12. pens are better than pencils.
13. jessica simpson is annoying.
14. ashlee simpson is a bad singer.
15. i know how to drive & i'm under the age of 16.
16. i love the sound of rain against my window at night. - dont have a window =(
17. grind wit yo girl to hellgoodbye.
18. utah is my favorite state.
19. i have a plastic trashcan.
20. bored_grab_A_survey owns.
21. flowers make me sneeze.
22. my favorite color is something other than pink.
23. my favorite sport is football even though i'm not a guy.
24. i've seen all of the lord of the rings movies. all 7 of them...
25. i change my layout like i change my underwear.
26. the beatles are the best band.
27. i have a big dog.
28. i name my freckles.
29. reality tv is not reality.
30. my obsession is vintage.
31. my sheets are blue.
32. i buy my clothes from thrift stores.
33. i recycle.
34. i wish i was a little kid again.
35. i have a myspace.
36. i read the latest harry potter book.
37. i cried reading the lastest harry potter book.
38. my drink of choice is diet coke.
39. i am a healthnut.
40. i took summer pe.
41. i paint my nails.
42. i'm constantly touching my hair.
43. i like freezepops.
44. my parents are divorced.
45. my best friends name is kelsey.
46. my name is kelsey.
47. i eat dinner at home every night.
48. i've been to a concert.
49. i have a piggy bank.
50. ipods are retarded.
51. the mall is my ~~second~~ fourth home.
52. i've screwed in a light blub before.
53. i watched the 2004 olympics on tv.
54. mtv should play more music.
55. i read the newspaper.
56. i'm currently reading a romantic novel.
57. i've had an xray.
58. i use crest white strips.
59. i have a secret lover.....i used to...very early in 2005 i did. long gone though.
60. i've stalked someone.
61. i'm going to the state fair.
62. i sleep walk.
63. blow is the best movie.
64. my carpet is not white.
65. i eat food.
66. i drink 8 glasses of water a day. probably
67. my birthday is on January 23.
68. i know the presidents phone number.
69. i am a democrat.
70. i am a republician.
71. i voted in the last election.
72. i bruise easily.
73. i am a cheerleader.
74. my favorite movie is bring it on.
75. i need more sleep.
76. i have a lock on my bedroom door.
77. i own something fake. I have counterfeit money on my wall...
78. i know who petter sellers is.
79. i've seen the new target back to school comerical.
80. i take pictures of myself all the time.
81. i ain't no hollaback girl.
82. i can write songs.
83. i've been in a school talent show.
84. the beach is my favorite.
85. the number 3 rocks.
86. i can swim.
87. i've been to fort sumter.
88. the civil war started on april 11, 1861. - you tell me?
89. thomas jefferson died on july 4th.
90. i watch friends reruns all the time.
91. chocolate chip cookies = pure joy.
92. i make honor roll.
93. i have 20/20 vision.
94. i own a real calender.
95. i know all of the zodic signs & can name them in order.
96. MaryKate Olsen is my idol.
97. i sleep with stuffed animals.
98. i've had an apple martini.
99. i hate the winter.
100. where i live it rains 24/7

Bold things that you have done in the past month

Watched tv
played video games
gone on the computer
cried
laughed
hung out with friends
talked on the phone
talked on aim
hugged someone
kissed someone
updated your xanga
checked you email
listened to music
cut
put on make up
gotten dressed up like really dressed up
gotten in a fight with a friend
yelled at someone
Watched a tv show
Seen someone hott
gone to starbucks
had coffee
had tea
had dinner with friends
had a sleepover
had a friend over
gone swimming
gone to another city
gone to camp
IMed someone random
Slept in
Woken up early
gone to bed at midnight
read a book
read a magazine
Eaten chinese food
dyed your hair
brushed your teeth
showered
liked someone
had a dream about someone you liked

there's nothing else i want more than to feel this way

2005-09-19T15:56:00.000-04:00

so i was extremely productive today, which is a new and exciting prospect for me. i worked and actually did stuff in all of my classes (even calc, which is amazing) and when i got home i went and deposited my checks and took out money for tommorow, then came home, got 2 loads of laundry ready, cleaned stuff up, did some dishes, washed up and did some more cleaning.

usually i'm falling asleep at this time of the afternoon, with a bunch of homework, but i did it all during study lol. i figure if i get some good sleep and have a productive day, it will go by faster and then it will be tommorow. and tommorow is good.

i can't stop listening to mandy moore, andy hunter, and shane's reiki music. it's weird, that's all i've listened to for like 3 days straight.

<3333

wonderful weekend

2005-09-18T12:48:00.000-04:00

details upon request. <3333333333333333333333333333333333

the secret to life:

2005-09-14T18:39:00.000-04:00

here is the secret to life:

take a moderately sized mug.

get some espresso chip or coffee chip or something similar ice cream in the mug, filled about 3/4 of the way.

add vanilla pepsi up to the top.

mix, stir, and indulge.

DELICIOUS.

found in my email

2005-09-13T14:51:00.000-04:00

Dear Respectful One,

I got your contact from the International web site directory. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to it's esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person I can do business with and by their recommendations I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

I am Sabina Peter, the only Daughter of late Mr and Mrs Peter Mataruse, My father was a very wealthy cotton and cocoa merchant in Bindura,the economic city of Zimbabwe before he was killed to death by his politcal associates on one of their outing to make political dialog.
When my mother died on the 21st October 1988, my father took me and my younger brother Herry, special because we are motherless.Before the death of my father on 26th Mar 2000 in a private hospital here in Bindura.

He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has the sum of $9.5,000.000 (Nine Million, five hundred thousand dollars) left in a suspense account in a local Bank in Abidjan, the capital of Cote d' Ivories that he used my name as his first Daughter for the next of kin in deposit of the fund.

He also explained to me that I should seek for a God fearing foreign person in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate management.

Sir, we are honorably seeking your assistance in the following ways.
1) To provide a Bank account where this money would be transferred to.
2) To serve as the guardian of this since I am not upto the age to have access to this money
Moreover Sir, we are willing to offer you 20% of the sum as compensation for effort input after the successful transfer of this fund to your designate account overseas. Please i will appreciate it if you can call me +225-07-423592 Anticipating to hear from you soon.

Thanks and God Bless.
Best regards.
Miss Sabina Peter

==========================================================

yes sabina, do not hesitate to contact ME, the "god-fearing" foreigner so esteemed on the international web site directory. oh sabina, how i would love to access your 9.5 million dollars. if only it were real. fuck off.

oh, i esp. loved the sentence with the "$9.5,000.000" in it, because you do not write nine and a half million dollars like this 9.5,000,000.00, and i dont see why there are three zeroes in the cents end. sabina, you need to take third grade math. even if you had done that right, 9.5,000.000 only amounts to 95 thousand, or even 9.5 thousand dollars and zero zero zero cents. you're a DUMB ASS.

in other news- i'm very happy. feel free to ask why. i just like bitching about those stupid emails that ask for my bank account #. dont know why they'd want it, dont have much in my bank account right now.

<333 first night has gone well

2005-09-06T21:00:00.000-04:00

oh man, i could get used to this kind of life. for any one who hasn't picked up yet, i'm in holden at my grandparent's house for today and the next few days watching the dogs for them while they're away. it's really fun, as my grandmother has a lot of interesting books about lots of things, and good meditation/relaxation cds, plus it's quiet here and its just me and the dogs.

a good vacation from the hustle and bustle of home life.

so i'm watching crouching tiger hidden dragon, and i had to watch it dubbed because i couldn't find the remote to switch the options...and i realize now how different the lines are from the subbed version versus the dubbed one...they're saying stupid american phrases in the dubbed version and its annoying. but oh well. i still <3 this movie.

so im getting up at like 5:30 tommorow morning because i'll need to do a lot before i can leave, then it'll take me 20 mins to get home, then catch the bus. same thing for the next few days.

anyway, back to the movie. i'll be on occasionally in the next few days, but not too much as they have aol and i have no patience.

anyway, ttyl.

weird dreams and whatnot

2005-09-05T11:07:00.000-04:00

so i had a dream that i was in two physics classes, and karp went on abut how hard it was going to be, and i have no idea why i was taking two classes. then i was driving home from some place on a motorcycle which was running out of gas and i went the wrong way around this little rotary but i lived becuse i was on a motorcycle. then i was at this weird spa place,and then i met someone outside the police station but he told me we couldn't stay to long becaus the police would suspect we were up to no good.

any body out there a dream interpreter? cuz that was really random. actualy i think i know exactly what they all mean, but i dont want to believe it.

so this week is going to be good, im gonna be spending tues-thurs at nana's watching the dogs. they have aol so i might be on a bit, but it wont be much. mostly i'll just be reading and watching movies and stuff. i think they want me to stay in the house the whole time, so i wont be able to really go anywhere which kinda sucks, but on the other hand i'm getting paid. which is more than i can say for tom's, from which i still dont have any hours. =(

update on bernie and phyls- my uncle is like struggling against conformity to get me a job there. this asshole boss (he is peter and jamie's boss) who i think had something to do with laying off the cafe people is pushing to get one person full time instead of a bunch of people part time. that means i wont get a job there, which BLOWS. that job would be perfect for me, i love that store and i'm very good with people. plus i'm the type that needs that kind of money. i ant afford these gas prices or insurance. it really sucks. im gonna be scraping the barrel just to pay insurance. im getting paid from nana this week, then i have another 2 and a half weeks to come up with the rest. hopefully i'll have a steady job by then. i really dont know about tom's. i hardly fit in there...

school is going well though, and thats a plus.

well someone's away message reminded me that i need to go take a shower. im sick of walking upstairs at like 2 after ive been up several hours and people are staring like "you just woke up?" and i'm like no fuck you.

so i'm out.

the move from there to here

2005-09-05T02:43:00.000-04:00

so i'm moving back to blogger, because i realized how customizable it is again...doesn't this look beautiful? simply can't be done in lj.

anyway i want to make it interesting for y'all when you come here, so the entries will be fun and i'll try and have pictures and stuff. i'll still have and use my lj account but the majority of my entries will be on here.

hope you like the music- i know lyd will. =) it's kind of different but its nice for this type of design. may take a bit to load as it's a long song but it's worth it.

anyway, it's late so i'd better get to bed.

night!

omg! im so psyched!

2004-11-24T14:31:00.000-05:00

so i was talking to teresa and she was like you should come to DK. and i'm seriously considering it. the downsides are the price tag (even though i could rake in at least half or two thirds of the $500 during christmas) and the fact that em and sarah's parents might not be too psyched about a guy going with them. actually they wouldn't like it at all. but hopefully we can work on that. i think my mom would let me go if i paid for it myself, at least mostly.

i <3 teresa muchly and it'd be so awesome to stay over there for a week. it'd be in february, or if i couldn't go with E+S, she said i should go in march for her b-day, and maybe james would go too, or anyone else that wanted to. it'd be alot of fun :)

so my new songs are good charlotte - i just wanna live and chevelle - vitamin R
heard them on mtv this afternoon. lol katie and i talked for hours and devoured like half my apple pie. then im at my uncles tonight, god knows he'll have all kinds of junk food. then tommorow is thanksgiving. i'll gain like 10 pounds overnight lol! not that thats a bad thing, i really need to gain weight. not much, but some.

so i have an hour left before i get ready to go. blerg. ttyl all!

went all prince of persia on ya!

2004-11-23T23:36:00.000-05:00

yeah this version is inspired by the prince of persia which is one of the greatest games ever made. the music comes from it. song doesnt have a title so i called it the sands of time.

overall i think its a really cool version.

and the best part is: i'm writing again! i know its been a month and everyone left and stuff, but hell, it's been busy. and it still will be for a while.

but now its 11:40 and i need to get to bed. glad i got this done though.

check out my site: http://chron5x.tk

still trying out these blockquote functions, pretty neat. i set this myself. lalalala blockquote!

working on this

2004-11-23T21:31:00.000-05:00

just wanna try something.

here's a blockquoted area. here's some other stuff to fill up the blockquote and see how it looks on multiple lines. oh look, another line used to fill up blockquote text!

what the hell are you waiting for?

you resist just to resist

2004-10-19T19:08:00.000-04:00

yay for time and time again by chronic future. also yay for the fact that i havent written in forever.

so yeah....i might retheme for a halloween thing...lol.

i dont even feel like writing! i tried to call some people but they weren't around :-/ its upsetting!

i'm so ditching this, i'll work on my level or something. bye!

the art of stealing quizzes: part II

2004-10-15T22:45:00.000-04:00

What songs are for...
...the opening scene?: the battle of life and death - good charlotte
...the random partying scene?: bootylicious vinyl - zebrahead
...the shopping scene?: you get me - michelle branch
...the scene where you meet the hot guy/girl?: you're so damn hot - ok go
...the scene where you do something stupid in front of said guy/girl?: hazard to myself (so uncreative, lol) - p!nk
...the rainy day scene?: come clean - hillary duff
...the melancholy driving scene?: into dust - mazzy star
...the happy driving scene?: subtract you - zebrahead
...the scene where the guy/girl asks you out?: you and i both - jason mraz
...the scene where you find out it was a joke?: cry - mandy moore
...the scene where someone close to you dies?: mary's in india - dido
...the prom scene?: rock it till you drop it - fefe dobson
...the graduation scene?: Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson
...the scene where that cool person asks you out for real?: weight of the world - chantal kreviazuk
...the hookup scene?: lala - ashlee simspon
...the breakup scene?: if you're not the one - daniel bedingfield
...the rebound scene?: addicted - simple plan
...the makeup scene?: this i promise you - *NSYNC
...the wedding scene?: soar - christina aguilera
...the closing credits?: when i look to the sky - train
...the song that's not actually in the movie, but's all over the radio?: milkshake - kelis

the art of stealing quizzes

2004-10-14T20:19:00.000-04:00

LAST PERSON WHO...

x. Slept in your bed: my crazy sexy ~~lesbian~~ lover.
x. Saw you cry: you don't need to know that. its too random.
x. Made you cry: myself.
x. You shared a drink with: that crazy hooker at the bar. wow, that was a wild night.
x. You went to the movies with: vanessa, for the forgotten.
x. You went to the mall with: i was kind of there with my dad an hour ago, but just to eat. if that doesnt count, that'd be vanessa too.
x. Yelled at you: i dont know, but probably karl. not to rag on him, because i'm really sick of ragging on him. even though i hate him.
x. Sent you an e-mail: mary beth freaking cahill from the john kerry society. asking for donations. AGAIN!!!

HAVE YOU EVER...

x. Said "I love you" and meant it?: yes.
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: cookie. he's evil.
x. Been to California: in transit to aussie, yes.
x. Been to Hawaii: nope.
x. Been to Mexico: cozumel, yes.
x. Been to China: nope, but i will someday.
x. Been to Canada: nope.
x. Danced naked: nope.
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: i looooove deja vu!
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: i practically am.
x. Had an imaginary friend: your mom. oh wait- she was real.

RANDOM TID BITS...

x. Do you have a crush on someone: 8.04 x 10⁴ people (yay scientific notation).
x. What book are you reading now: sabriel for me, and scarlet letter for p. doherty.
x. Worst feeling in the world: doing something really stupid or losing someone.
x. Future son's name: something cool.
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: nope.
x. What's under your bed: old school stuff and like shoeboxes lol.
x. Favorite sports to watch: quidditch.
x. Siblings: kasey katie michelle nathan and matthew. if they count.
x. Location: your moms pants. AKA boylston.
x. College plans: somewhere small and good.
x. Piercings/tattoos: not yet.
x. Boyfriend/girlfriend: not at the moment no...

EXTRA STUFF...

x. Do you do drugs: never.
x. Do you drink: probably never. i really dont think that when i can legally drink i will drink. at least not much. i hate what it does to people.
x. Who is your best friend: i'm pretty much really close to all my friends, i'm not going to play favorites.
x. What are you most scared of: doing something stupid in front of people.
x. What clothes do you sleep in: old clothes that are comfortable but unfashionable.
x. Where do you want to get married: massachusetts.
x. Who do you really hate: bush, cheney, karl. accent on bush and cheney.
x. Do you drive: not yet.
x. Do you have a job: yes.
x. Do you like being around people: sometimes, it depends.
x. Are you for world peace: p-chaw, like that would work. but hey, it'd be cool.

STUFF...

x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes, but i try not to. sadly, i fail.
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: yes.
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: i dont really "go after" anyone.
x. Want someone you don't have right now: yes.
x. Are you lonely right now: i dunno.
x. Song thats stuck in your head a lot: nothing better, in da club, milkshake, fly away, yeah!, baby it's you.
x. Do you want to get married: we'll see.
x. Do you want kids: meh, maybe.

FAVORITE...

x. Room in house: my room.
x. Type(s) of music: rock/pop and everything in between.
x. Band(s): shall i unleash the comprehensive list? linkin park, zebrahead, switchfoot, yellowcard, evanescence, good charlotte, blink-182, michelle branch, hillary duff, ashlee simpson, avril, the black eyed peas, vanessa carlton, dido, thursday, hoobastank, story of the year, POD, a perfect circle, christina aguilera, dashboard confessional, fefe dobson, lifehouse, korn, muse, p!nk, papa roach, sixpence none the richer, the prodigy, spice girls (yes, i know...), three days grace....
x. Color: black, grey, blue, red, orange, green, purple
x. Perfume or cologne: AXE. and kirra, they're both good.
x. Month: april, june, july, august, december.
x. Stone: blarney.

IN THE LAST 72 HOURS, HAVE YOU...

x. Cried: yes.
x. Bought something: come to think of it, no.
x. Gotten sick: yes, in many ways.
x. Sang: along with music.
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yep.
x. Met someone new: nope.

john kerry is fantastic

2004-10-13T22:53:00.000-04:00

the debate was great- they even brought up gay marriage.

so here's my view. john kerry responds to a question with an answer, using clear words and just generally making sense. then it's bush's turn. what does he do? hesitate, maybe laugh, try to make a funny comment.

i have to agree with one of the commentator guys- neither of the candidates answered the questions about funds. the fact is, they have no plan on where to get money. i think kerry is better at covering this up though. yes, that's a good thing :p

kerry will say a loss of funds or something is bush's fault, but bush will just blame it on something else.

kerry's closing statements were just fantastic.

so the polls are about 50/50 right now. i was psyched to see a poll on spoono in which 57% favored kerry, 30something favored bush, and the rest was something else. i know that only targets graphic designers because most people dont really go to that site for political debates...but still, it makes me happy.

so about gay marriage. i love what kerry said. for me, it really isn't the MARRIAGE. its the RIGHTS that come with it. sanctity of marriage is wonderful and i'm all for that, but like kerry said, this is the united states, and we cannot deny people rights beause of sexual orientation. therefore, gays should have some kind of union in which they can share property/visit each other in hospitals etc.

bush is just like fuck gay people. i think its a choice. i dont like them. what? cheney's daughter? i'm going to not adress that because it makes me sad. meh!!!

i just read an article today, published ages ago, that PROVES that it's all genetics, and not about choice. it isn't about choice. i was gay before i knew it, then i realized what i was feeling. oh and by the way- i tried to like girls because i thought i was supposed to, but it didnt work out. put that in your pipe and smoke it, dubya.

my mom says that people want to see kerry as someone they can vote for because they hate bush. i agree with that.

kerry has great views, he could be a great leader, and is much better at speaking. he doesn't try to make people laugh about stupid things (want some wood? etc) to ease the tension. the fact is, there are problems, and kerry wants to solve them, and has a way of doing it. bush comes up with these bogus figures about how kerry voted against things, and kerry is like hey thats not true, i may have voted against something 92 times, but when i turned against my party i voted for it 600 times. bush was like ummm bullshit. who would know better? i think kerry would.

anyway those are the views of a stupid biased liberal kid...doesn't mean much but i think kerry is unlimitedly better in so many ways.

i'm getting into zebrahead..they kick ass. the song tommorow by SR-71 is fantastic. i got some new music today if you didn't notice.

halloween party coming up soon, as well as the chem paper due date and several other things.

bedtiem...

what a shitty day

2004-10-13T14:11:00.000-04:00

so i dont want to write much, just enough to inform those of you who may have questions. i felt wicked sick all day and only stayed long enough to finish the PSAT. then my mom came and brought me home. i just wanted to scream "fuck the psat" and then go throw up. ugh.

so today was totally horrible and i wish it never happened.

does anyone want to go to the mall? jack, we need to hit salvy's before the party at some point. ummm any other messages for people.........i dunno.

ttyl

boo and a half!

2004-10-12T22:12:00.000-04:00

so today was a day for changing things around.

i totally rethemed my computer, including wallpaper, windowblinds theme and winamp skin. they all look highly cool. then i redid my journal. its not quite perfect, i still have to do music and something with the shoutbox, but its what i wanted.

i sent RelicHunter a demo of my game today, hope he likes it. i got loads done on it today. i will send it to zach once he gets GetRight.

so i need to write about lots of stuff..but now is not the time. i'm tired and i need to finish 2 chapters of A (the scarlet letter for those of you who dont get my wittiness)

so my new proactiv stuff came today. i dont usually like to talk about this subject, but this is really going to do wonders for me. i got the skin lightening lotion, and what it does is lighten the "hyperpigmentation" which is dark marks (no harry potter reference :p) made by past acne. thats really MOSTLY what i have now, besides a tiny bit of scarring, and i have stuff for that too. so what does this mean? my face is going to look loads better in a few weeks (and it doesnt even look too bad right now)

so i am very psyched about that. its all going to be even toned and nice.

i'll write about king richards faire, jack/joes birthday present, halloween party and various other things tommorwo, or tommorow morning. i need to read and sleep!

love ya!

today....

2004-10-05T23:01:00.000-04:00

today was a wonderful, wonderful day. there should be some more days like this one.

two of the funniest things EVER

2004-10-05T15:09:00.000-04:00

1 so today in chem we were going over mixtures and solutions, and when alice got to solutions, she said (in her crazy romanian accent as always)

"one of my attractive female students answered a question about solutions in the other class"

and i was like oh my goodness gee golly gosh alice you are hysterical.

then i found out in history that alice was in fact talking about emily! ohhhh alice...

2 michelle wasnt on the bus, so katie and i did our hanging-out-in-the-kitchen-talking-and-eating thing, but then after like a half hour michelle drove in and we were like

"OH MY GOD RUN! get your stuff! GET OUT! bye! see you later! have fun at the mall! thanks, have fun at daddies! RUN!"

and it was just fucking funny. we like scatter when karl and michelle show up. it was hysterical.

so i'm also really psyched about today because

a) the mall is wicked fricking awesome
b) vanessa is wicked ficking awesome (and i barely ever get to see her)
c) the forgotten should be wicked fricking awesome

and we are combining the 3 :D

it was generally a good day and it passed sooner than i thought it would.

so i'm psyched and waiting for an hour from now.

until then i'm gonna work on my level.

ttyl!~

NOOOO!!!

2004-10-04T18:04:00.000-04:00

so i just typed out all the lyrics to "ironic" and bolded and italicized certain parts and it looked wicked good but blogger decided to DIE on me....

lets see if this works: (if not, i'm not bothering to fix it)

  |     |

    ------
  /        /        \

ironic

2004-10-04T17:52:00.000-04:00

an old man turned 98
he won the lottery...and died the next day
its a black fly in your chardonnay
its a death row pardon, two minutes too late
and isnt it ironic, dontcha think?

its like rain on your wedding day
its a free ride when you've already paid
its the good advice thatcha just didn't take
and who wouldve thought? it figures...

mr. play it safe was afraid to fly
he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
he waited his whole damn life
to take that flight
and as the plane crashed down, he thought
'well isnt this nice?'
and isnt it ironic? dontcha think?

its like rain on your wedding day
its a free ride when you've already paid
its the good advice thatcha just didn't take
and who wouldve thought? it figures...

well life has a funny way
of sneakin up on ya when ya think everythings okay
and everythings going right...
and life has a funny way of helpin you out when ya think
everythings gone wrong and everything blows up in ya face

traffic jam...when you're already late
a no smoking sign, on your cigarette break
its like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
its meeting the man of my dreams...and then meeting his beautiful wife...
and isnt it ironic...dontcha think
a little toooo ironic, and yeah i really do think

its like rain on your wedding day
its a free ride when you've already paid
its the good advice thatcha just didn't take
and who wouldve thought? it figures...

yea and life has a funny way...of sneakin up on you...
and life has a funny, funny way...of helpin you out...of helpin you out...

dads

2004-10-01T15:43:00.000-04:00

i'm at my dads for the weekend. if, when you know i'm not at work, you need me: 508-865-5488 FEEL FREE TO CALL! :) also, visit me at work or enjoy a painful death! :)

bye guys

karl needs a heaping helping of DEATH

2004-09-30T06:22:00.000-04:00

seriously. i am so sick of karl i might just die from it.

last night i was making myself dinner and he comes in and he's hanging around and getting in the way no matter what i do, and eventually he was like arent you oging to eat your leftovers? i was like i didnt have any, i didnt get them wrapped up. and he goes in the fridge and of course katie had written my name all over one of the boxes. and he holds it out in such a way that says "you were lying" and gives me this look. and i told him that i TOLD the lady that i didnt want it wrapped up because it was only vegetables left. and he was like marghh veggies are good for you. um, not when theres peppers, onions, rice and a hunk of pineapple left. thats really what there was. why did the stupid waitress wrap it up? shes crazy.

so finally he left and i was like wow, i hate you.

then this morning i get up (i'll tell you about my crazy 2 part dream later)

and i go in the shower, and for 10 freaking minutes it was freezing. 10 minutes. i stood there, just waiting for something to happen, and of course it EVENTUALLY did. but then it went down again, and eventually it got really hot. so it took me 20 minutes to take a 10 minute shower. and when i get out karl is out in the kitchen and its like my god karl, werent you supposed to leave already? and my mom comes up and is like marr did you take a really long shower? and i just freaked out and told her and walked away.

its not fucking fair. nwo its 6:26 and i have to go get breakfast and lunch stuff. meanwhile someone will probably show up.

(oh and by the way- i forgot to mention- karl was the one who thought "ohhh gee, maybe if i limit the hot water the kids will take shorter showers! duuuhhhhh" WRONG ANSWER! that was aaagess ago and until now its never been too much of a problem.

anyway the dream.

part 1- me and my dad have a huge fight, i was helping him do something in the backyard of my old house, and he kept criticising and being an asshole about what i was doing, and eventually i was like fine, do it yourself. i walked away and shot some dirt at him and he made some angry raging noise. then it shifted, and i was with jack and lyd walking through a really weird bernie and phyls. i said hi to the "managers wife" who i defined her as, even though she does not exist, and there ARE 3 managers (peter is gay, jamie is divorced, and barnie...he's not getting someone like that) and then we all sat down and talked and peter was there and he said my dad left angry messages on the machine, and when he played them it was some song on the radio...then i started bawling and jack told me to stop sulking.

part 2- i was riding my bike from somewhere through woods and stuff, and i was taking another bike with me. so i had one hand on mine and one on the other. and i hit this intersection, and a bus goes by full of little kids. which is odd because the dream was summer ish. the kids are all pointing, so the busdriver says "thats the big kid bus, you'll drive that later" it took me a while to realize i wasnt in a bus. then theres like a short hill going down to water, and someone gets out of a car, wrapped in shawls. guess who? yeah, def. LORI MONTIVERDI. so i'm like bonjour, and 10 seconds later she mumbles something in french. she asks me if i'm going home and i say yes. she mumbled something that may have contained the word "malade" and i say yes i'm sick. then she leaves and i go down into this pit, and its none other than jamie (my retarded step cousin, who is 22 and still in high school, still playing digimon and megaman) building a computer. he has a huge box of a conspicuous "cleaning fluid" and eventually he follows me up to where i left the bikes. he offers me a ride back. for a while i thought he was driving, till i realized he was on the right side of the car. then i thought hmm who's driving. any guesses? def. TRISH CALLAHAN. she keeps making weird comments. and then my alarm went off.

ok i need to go make lunch/breakfast. bye.

i love winamp radio

2004-09-27T22:34:00.000-04:00

so i'm listening to winamp's internet radio feature, its awesome. this ENGERGYRADIOFM is great, they play pop/rock stuff and it's all great music. its free too. i want to start my own radio station, but it sounds like you need your own server, and i wouldn't want to overload jackie's server with stuff like that. maybe theres a winamp server i could use though. who knows?

anyway this conversation was tres amusing...enjoy!

beyondtheveil86: screw your mom!
SmarterChild: Screw my mom?
beyondtheveil86: you heard me.
SmarterChild: Hmm... perhaps, but could you repeat yourself?
beyondtheveil86: screw your mom!
SmarterChild: Screw my mom? I'll think about it, Mike.
beyondtheveil86: no god dammit, you'll do it right now.
SmarterChild: God dammit me'll do it? Why did you say that?
beyondtheveil86: because your mom is screaming your name.
SmarterChild: I think you're really mom is screaming my name.
beyondtheveil86: i find that hard to believe. i are not a really mom.
SmarterChild: What?
beyondtheveil86: precisely.
SmarterChild: Indeedy do.
beyondtheveil86: indeedy fuck your mom.
SmarterChild: Venting a little frustration, are we?
beyondtheveil86: thats what your mom said.
SmarterChild: I'm sorry. What's what my mom said?
beyondtheveil86: that i vented a little frustration into her.
SmarterChild: That you vented a little frustration into her?
beyondtheveil86: that i did.
SmarterChild: No way?! Really?
beyondtheveil86: really really.
SmarterChild: Aha.

i'm on fire when you speak

2004-09-26T22:40:00.000-04:00

so here we are, my best version yet if i do say so myself.

sky captain kicked ass. its late and i need to go to bed...so i'll write something more tommorow.

so in love with what we were

2004-09-26T09:50:00.000-04:00

cuz i'm so in love with what we were...
i'm not breathing i'm suffocating without you!
(do you feel it too?)

all the things left undiscovered, leave me empty and left to wonder...
i need you...
all the things left undiscovered, leave me empty and left to wonder!
i need you...

dont walk away...

prachis party

2004-09-26T01:22:00.000-04:00

so ultimately, i guess i'm glad i went. but seriously, i had a crap day and i wasnt in the mood for it at all. my day wasnt even crap, it was actually good. it was slow at b+ps and i got all my homework (3 essays and the chem packet) done. that stuff isn't due until tuesday, tuesday, and thursday, so i'm glad i got it all done. anyway. i wasnt in the mood for the party, but i was trying to have fun anyway, and of course allie tries to make me smile and stuff even though i was FINE and that really kinda depressed me. i hate when i'm fine and people are all whats wrong whats wrong and stuff...then something is wrong and ugh...

then when i finally got up the courage to get up and dance, kasey made a really jackass comment and i completely lost it. he knows better than to say something like that, he really does. he's a dumbass. like seriously he says stuff like that all the time and i hate that. he's too stupid to figure it out. oh yeah, and he's too stupid to realize that if i wanted to, i could dish ultimate dirt on him and he would never in a million years live it down. so far i've been too nice to say it. but i felt a lot better when em hugged the crap out of me (also allie and cav did too) and deal talked to kasey and jill gave me a bandaid and stuff. randy tried to talk to me alot, and it was nice of him but i really didnt want to talk. and then justin comes over and grabs me and he's like shaking me and saying kasey didnt mean it like that he just blah blah blah and he kept shaking me and i was like GAHHH and em was like justin just go away, just go away. and finally he did. and kasey kept trying to talk to me but deal kept intercepting him. i love deal for that, i really do. it was nice of him.

anyway it was a really good party but i wasnt in the mood for it at all.

tommorow nana's taking me out to eat with peter, then im going to see sky captain avec mes amis.

i feel like i have absolutely no free time lately. since tuesday i've been busy every day...

so i'm going to bed, i wanted to stay up and read or something but i need to get some sleep.

nyht. (my new word that i just made up)

today was MUCH better

2004-09-22T22:43:00.000-04:00

much much much better. besides the fact that i was sick all day, it was a good day. you know that chem quiz everyone failed? i got an 80. gym wasn't bad at all, i actually love the new gym teacher and soccer will surely be fun with her. i was playing midfield today, which basically means you run around and don't have to do much. you let the offense be offensive, the defense be defensive, and you basically run around pretending to help them. actually, i do try now and then, i'm not bad at soccer and i dont hate it. i suddenly remembered soccer of 2 years ago, when joe used to like BOOT the ball down the field and it was just amazing. that was when i didnt know him. in compy we had a study. we did fun activities in french and joo was actually funny and not all "i'm so much cooler than you two."

we started self-reliance (by emerson) in english today and i really love it. i spent forever on my response essay and i didnt want to stop writing. its only 2.25 pages double spaced, but i worked hard on it and i hope it is good. i'm still bad at writing essays though.

i also had french homework, and that was easy. i neglected to work on the history stuff which is due monday and will probably take me forever to do.

today was a very good day. my mom took katie and i (and the dog) to west boylston, we went to pinecroft and got ice cream (ohhh nostalgia...ohhh the memories!) and there was a very very hot platinum blonde boy there and i was like wow you're really hot. i didnt say it OUT LOUD obviously... anyway i got a peppermint ice cream and it was da shit.

we went to the rail trail and walked, its 2 miles there and back. lots of funny convos and stuff, but it ended in katie being all bitchy because she wanted deodorant REALLY BAD. when she calmed down my mom agreed to drop us off at CVS, and she went and got her deodorant, and i got AXE ~ Phoenix. it smells unbelievably good. i told vanessa when i got home and we had a fun convo about how axe is hotness in a can. it really is, and it really works. i went on the website and did all these random games and stuff.

did my homework..now i'm writing this.

SO tommorow...it'll be a good day. i have chem first, getting that out of the way, a study/workonallyourassignments period. then precal, we'll go over stuff for the quiz, then compy. i get to hang out with YKW. fix yet another computer. jay and jareds monitor is STILL broken and i laugh in their face. actually- she was out today, maybe she'll be out again tommorow and i'll have that study- then ANOTHER study with franny, then end the day with french and english. after the GSA meeting at lunch, that is. then lyd will come over on the bus, we will hang out and it will be good times. katie convinced my dad not to come tommorow though, so he will be taking us out on next tuesday. then i have work to do from 6:30-8, then the OC is on, and i will have to tape it or "dices" HOPEFULLY i can tape it, but i'm freaking retarded when it comes to stupid things like that.

then friday jack and i are having a movie party and we will watch the oc episode, saved, scary movie 3, edward scissorhands, or whatever we want.

then its the freakin weekend imma bout to have me sum fun!!!! bounce bounce bounce etc.... OHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh r. kelly.

anyway i'm happy now. i need to get to sleep though, its 11 and i get up at 6.

NIGHT!

blahhhhhhh

2004-09-21T22:20:00.002-04:00

its been a very bad 2 weeks. i mean it hasnt been bad...but i just feel like crap right now. i want to make some changes in my life.

i've spent most of the time working my ass off at my level, because i know thats one thing i'm very good at. if i finish this and submit it, and it does well (top 50, i'm hoping) it'll be a major confidence boost for me.

and when it looks like this, i'd say i have a good chance.

i'm sorry i havent been around much lately. blerg.

so anyway i have some things to look forward to. lyd is coming over on thursday and we're hanging out until 6:30 or so, then my dad will probably take katie and i out for dinner somewhere (like he used to every other thursday, but hasnt done in a while. i dont blame him, its been busy) then i will watch the oc. then jack and i (and anyone else that wants too) are having a Saved/Scary Movie 3 movie party on friday. hopefully, anyway.

i have a paper due monday, the 15 page paper has been assigned (due dec 3rd), everything is getting really hard and i havent talked to andrew in a while. he hasnt been going online. i miss him!

i watched one tree hill tongiht..the AIM ad intrigued me. one of the guys was hot (though i'm not a big chad michael murray fan) but otherwise the show was kind of lame. i dont know, maybe i just jumped in at the wrong time. i prefer FOX shows over wb.

so i'm going to bed now, sorry about my miserable rant. i'll get over it soon.

undiscovered - ashlee simpsons best song

2004-09-16T18:35:00.000-04:00

Take it back, take it all back now
The things i gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips,
I miss that now
I can't try any harder than i do
All the reasons i gave, excuses i made for you
Are broken in two

All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah I need you

Don't walk away

Touch me now how i wanna feel
Something so real, please remind me
My love, and take me back
Cuz im so in love with what we were
Im not breathing im suffocating without you
Do u feel it to

All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you

When im in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door,
Its then i know my heart is whole
Theres a million reasons why i cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cuz i dont wana be alone

All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you, I need you

Cuz i cant fake and I cant hate
But it's my heart
Thats about to break
You're all i need
I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed
Would you listen please
I give in
I breathe out
I want you, theres no doubt
I freak out, I'm left out
Without you, im without
I'm crossed out
I'm kicked out
I cry out
I reach out
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away
Don't walk away

i'm in over my head

2004-09-14T14:49:00.000-04:00

school is really sucking. everything is much harder, and even though i know the stuff, i just cant test well. i just cant. not even in french! i can do all these activities in class or problems on the board and memorize worksheets but when i have to take a test its all gone. it sucks, and its not getting any easier. i hate school and i just wish something would change. furthermore, we are not going the 19th and it is doubtful i'll get to go at all. if my mom takes me, it will become a family thing and i really dont want that. karl and michelle can stay at home and i will be fine.

oh god, i really do feel like shit though. i ran the mile in 9:14. my chem quiz didnt go that well, nor did the "easy" pre-cal quiz. she does stuff on the board and its so easy, but then she gives us the same type of problem on a quiz, EXCPET with exponents and complicated equations. things dont work that way, you're supposed to give hard ones on the board so people know how to do them. blerg.

i feel like i'm in over my head in almost all my class.

per 1- gym, i just hate it and it sucks and i either have to suffer or fail.
per 2- french, i get french really well but i hate taking quizzes.
per 3- english, it started as over my head but i will be all right for now. its only going to get harder though, and the books are supposed to be hard.
per 4- chem, its only easy because we're doing safety stuff so far, and she assigns homework almost every night and i just want to smack her.
per 5- history, its just way over my head and that packet thats worth a test grade i finished, but i did a crap job on it because i completely DO NOT get it.
per 6- precal, its "easy" now, but as in french quizzes are hard. oh yea and I HATE MATH.
per 7- compy, even that is different this year. its going to be all hardware stuff, and while that can be fun i dont know much about it, and i really really loathe brian richards and i hope he dies a slow painful death. now, perhaps?

the only class i really feel secure in (compy and french aside...just because they're hard dont mean im insecure) is study. because thats where i can get things done, i hate doing hoemwork at home. i really cant, i just hate it. so study is good. but i wish it was every day, like last period. i dont like gym at all and its unfair that we have to take it. and run the mile, for that matter. AND play soccer after the mile, for that matter. mr greenwald also needs to die slowly and painfully.

i just want it to be friday so i can get all dressed up and shit, wear my sirius black outfit at some point during the week, and then it will be homecoming, and then hopefully i can take sunday off and go to 6 flags. with whoever, i really dont care. as long as karl and michelle aren't involved, that is.

as for the rest of the week, i'm not in the mood for it.

i'm sorry i'm so miserable lately but theres nothing i can do. all these fuckass quizzes, that trial in history (i didnt even do bad and it still had me wicked upset) and i just cant do it.

i'm probably just not in the right mindset for school yet. it needs to hurry up and be christmas vaca already...

anyway, thats enough miserable ranting for now, bye

woo! all done :)

2004-09-11T08:25:00.000-04:00

so i had it orange/purple for a while...and it lookd good..but i think it looks better all orange. i love th ecolor orange. and the song hella good. and samurai's and stuff. AND the phrase "va voir dehors si j'y suis" feel free to ask me what it means..its fun hehe.

so i was in a chat and several IM's last night, and i dont remember ending any of them, but all i know is my away message was up when i woke up, i was signed out of my comp, and the monitor was off. i dont remember going to sleep either. its so weird! usually if i fall asleep during a chat, i dont wake up in my bed. or logged out, and away. its just strange, is all.

its almost like i was knocked out with a tranq dart. o_O i dont remember going to sleep! its weird.

hehe i think i'm gonna recode the bzoink quizzes to make them match the design, and make it so blogger puts less posts on one page. its too big!

OMG-

today is 9/11. time has flown, hasnt it? that was years ago. i bet west boylston will get a bunch of patrons to see fahrenheit today.

well anyway, i give my respects to those who died and those who had to witness it firsthand. that must have been terrible. i hate thinking about 9/11 though, it makes me wicked depressed.

bush better not get re-elected.

bear with me...

2004-09-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

bear with me while i make a new version. this isn't it, dont worry.

bZoink! - the zen quiz

2004-09-10T20:51:00.000-04:00

the zen quiz
Created by zendeomen and taken 583 times on bzoink!
have you ever
started a small scale revolution	nope...
tackled an athlete playing a game while you were a spectator	i dont watch games.
been arrested, what for?	for fucking your mom.
used a rhyming dictionary	http://rhymezone.com
been suspended, what for?	same as 2 above.
impersonated the pope	yes, because i do that all the time.
shook hands with the devil	george bush? nope, never met him...
created one of these quizes?	not a bZoink one, no.
single handedly collapsed a nations economy?	well I didn't vote for bush..
tell me more about yourself
forget your name, what name do you go by	crack.
what name do you wish you went by	495. (inside joke).
what color do you wish your hair was	platinum blonde. TOM FELTON IS HOT.
and your eyes?	blue.
what do you want to be when you grow up?	your mom!
who is your role model? besides me	i'll seriously think about that, i dunno.
whats your favorite...
3 bands	linkin park, switchfoot, black eyed peas.
3 song	dare you to move, you get me, lets get it started. (i cant pick only 3 :/)
3 movies	crouching tiger/hidden dragon, kill bill, the ring.
3 books	harry potter 3, 5, and lirael.
color	black, orange, blue, purple, red, green.
day of the week	friday.
way to say \	quoi?
time of day	any time after 10PM.
time of year	summer.
holiday	xmas, my bday, all hallows eve (halloween for you dumbasses out there)
would you...
become a vampire and be eternally damned	sure, why not?
make someone else one	isn't that the point?
would you make me one?	just to piss you off.
do something just because you said you would	all the time, its called a PROMISE.
go back and change time, not knowing the effect it would have	i love time travel!
sights unseen
do you believe in god	nope.
or fate?	i have so many theories on fate/destiny/time travel...
how bout satan?	we have enough evil on this planet to go around.
heaven, hell?	reincarnation.
if there\'s a hell are you going there?	probably...for various reasons.
believe in ghosts?	no, not ghosts. a memory, preserved in a diary for fifty years...oh..sorry!
life on other planets	we're not the ONLY ones!
wicca?	it sounds cool, havent heard much about it.
magick in general	kicks ass! i love you jk rowling!
heart on your sleeve
ever been in love?	i thought so.
are you now?	erm. i wouldnt call it love. i dont know quite WHAT it is.
would you die for that person?	hmmm...
do you have a super-heroe complex?	eh?
are you getting over it?	i dont know.
have you ever held your true feelings inside you?	all the time. all the fucking time. even now.
sucks dont it?	i had a comment but i'll supress it.
are you talking to yourself zen?	eh?
finish the following...
if love is for suckers...	no its not! you biatch!
if there is a hell...	then JB is going there. (no offense, but he says it himself :p)
if you lose everything...	get it all back!
if no one's there...	find someone.
more questions
how many people in your life have you hated	plenty. there are so many morons out there.
and loved?	i dont know, a lot.
and lied to...tough question?	white lies- a lot. black lies- not many.
say what you think when you read these words
buddha	enlightenment.
zen	garden.
love	stinks.
religion	sucks.
life	puppy.
good	sex. with your mom!
tear	drop.
botchla?	qu'est-ce que c'est?
flame	spark.
fall	mist.
blood	pain.
angel	dasani (a bottle was in front of me).
outcast	is a crappy band.
scars	harry potter.
awaken	lirael.
scream	blood-curdling.
paul	frank.
mosh	pit.
hurt	ful.
rainbow	gayness!
thurpl3	stop making up words!
punk	drives me crazy.
america	is evil!
fascism	italy.
rick	peter. (my uncles b/f is rick).
music	is awesome.
hitler	mafia. so random, i know...
silver	and cold.
this is the end
what will be your last words	i love you.
quote the bible	why?
quoth the raven	never more...
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

...becomes my mother on the phone

2004-09-10T19:04:00.000-04:00

hehehe i just thought of that. so who knows the song "mother" by the police?

its wicked funny, its about how moms are so annoying and wont leave you alone. a bit of lyrics, then a funny story:

well the telephone is ringing. is that my mother on the phone?
telephone is ringing. is that my mother on the phone?
the telephone is screaming! wont she leave me alone?
the telephone is ringing, is that my mother on the phone?

every girl i go out with, becomes my mother in the end.
every girl i go out with, becomes my mother in the end.
i hear my mother calling, but i dont need her as a friend.
well every girl i go out with, becomes my mother in the end.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh ...MOTHER...

creepiest sounding song EVER.

anyway thats all you need. so this was AGES ago. but the funny story is still great. i was singing it for some reason, and katie forgot the words and tried to sing it, and it came out like this:

every girl i go out with, becomes my mother on the phone. it sounds lame now, but it was so fucking funny at the time. i laughed my ass off for like 10 minutes.

===================================

so i went to nate's to do the pies today. besides my (insert something slightly less of hatred here) of the seilers (because they're so freaking strange) it wasn't bad. no thomas, i am not lying. or am i?

so em was on the phone leaving a message for her mom, and she said "were almost done" and thomas went on this big shpiel about how we werent, and he was like THATS A LIE. i was like fuck you thomas you say everyone's lying and i hate you. lol. thomas is so cool. i'm lying. thomas doesn't need to cut his hair. i'm lying. thomas is a hot sexy beast. I'M LYING!

lol. thats my thomas rant........

so anyway. this is my entry for now, maybe more later. i'm tired...

latest revelation:

2004-09-08T20:11:00.000-04:00

try orange sherbert with lemonade. its SO FREAKING GOOD. i just took a mug, put orange sherbert in it, and added some lemonade. its yum-tastic.

http://www.larashome.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12784 (what i've been working on)

so yeah...i really need to do my english essay. sucks that it was the only homework i had. i mean come on, i get everything done in study and i have an essay left over. i hate essays. i'm horrible at them.

i'll write more if i get it done before 10. i will also have some more orangadesherbertjuice.

new version for 50th post!

2004-09-03T13:40:00.000-04:00

actually i made the new version for the hell of it, THEN realized it was the 50th post.

SO! news flash: i dont wanna go to my dads. neither does katie. i'm afraid WW3 is going to happen on the ride, since katie is wicked pissed at him and will probably bring up the things i told her not to bring up.

i am quite enraged with him as well, but i'm going to pretend i'm not. i just dont want to go. we didnt tell him we had today off, and we're not telling him about monday either. this way, we have more time at home. otherwise i'd already be over there, and he'd probably keep us until monday. sooo not happening.

so yesterday wasn't tres eventful...we had the GSA meeting and now we will have 2 new members- ian said he would join and kasey told me justin wanted to join *wink wink at someone*

we have to get 15+ people to get the discounted tickets which should be about $23. i'm psyched!

anyway the gsa is off to a good start this year, i just hope we figure out the 6 flags trip soon enough. we kinda have to lol.

SO. blarg. i reeaalllly dont wanna go to my dads. GAHHHH.

ok i'm gonna play some RE or prince of persia or something, i'm bored with this.

hope you like the new version!

and i'm spent...

2004-08-31T22:42:00.000-04:00

time for bed.

bzoink!

2004-08-31T22:31:00.000-04:00

~Long Survey~ (w/ good grammar and decent, unique questions)
Created by donttalktome and taken 121 times on bzoink!
The Basics and Some Personals
Name:
Age:
Shoe Size:
Height:
Weight:
Pants Size:
Shirt Size:
Innie or Outie?
Love Questions
Are you in Love?
Are you single or taken?
If single, for how long?
If taken, for how long?
If taken, by whom?
Do you like guys or girls?
What do you think about Sporty guys?
Smart?
Dorky?
Popular?
Your Favorites
Kind of Food:
Color:
Song:
Band:
Singer:
CD:
Kind of Music:
Animal:
Place to be?
Vacation spot:
Actor:
Actress:
Comedian:
Soap Opera:
Day Time Talk Show:
Game Show:
All Around Favorite Show:
Drink:
Restaurant:
Number:
Letter:
Word:
Your Short Opinion on..
George W. Bush:
Gay Marriage:
Rocketing Gas Prices:
Minimum Wage ($6.75):
Drunk Driving:
Legal Driving Age:
Anorexia:
Mary-Kate and Anorexia:
Lindsay Lohan (18) and her 23-year-old boyfriend:
Young Marriages:
Young Parents:
Pregnency without a Marriage:
Telemarketers:
Pop Quizzes:
This Survey:
Label Your Friends!
Loudest:
Quietest:
Nicest:
Person who doesn't think before they speak:
Outspoken:
Annoying:
Popular or has best chance of becoming popular:
Best Dressed:
Worst Dressed:
Sweetest:
Giving:
Selfish:
Ungrateful:
Social Butterfly:
Will be crowned Most Likely to Succeed by their class:
This or That
Soda/Punch
Sour/Sweet
Summer/Winter
Christmas/Thanksgiving
Easy/Challenging
Light/Dark
Sun/Moon
TV/Movies
Out with Friends/Out with Family
Cat/Dog
Penguin/Dolphin
Book/Magazine
Last Questions about the Survey
Did you like the survey?
Would you reccomend it to a friend?
Where will you put your results?
Thanks for coming...
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whaddya know?

2004-08-31T22:07:00.000-04:00

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Name:
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:	191

Quiz created with MemeGen!

first day of school

2004-08-31T13:39:00.000-04:00

SO. today....it's been a strange day. (i'm in compy, last period) it was reeeeaalllly long, but every period like flew by. first days are always like that.

i love the first day of school but i hate the first like two weeks after it, because you have to get used to the teacher and the way things are taught and it takes a long time to really get into it. so i'm looking forward to when i get used to stuff.

this keyboard is wicked awesome.

so anyway. i have studies now- but i'm going to need them. english and US history are going to be pretty hard. as far as chem and pre-cal, i think i can handle those. i'm one of those math-science people as opposed to english-history. french is awesome- its me, the cains, chris carton and joo. jack and chris are in "french 2 and a half" so it should be an interesting class.

ok and so the same thing that happened last year is happening again. i remember it was like a week before dane started showing up, and now we have two more foreign exchange kids coming in- ralph and hans. they're in like ALL my classes but they havent been here all day.

rebecca and tom have left our grade forever. my respects to rebecca. i would try to give my respects to tom, but he'd probably think i was LYING. he's such an idiot.

so lets go through my day shall we? homeroom with alice (mrs apostolou, crazy taiwanese chem teacher, everyone calls her alice). i actually think i really like alice. even though she's a little crazy and bossy at times. she likes me, and i answer her questions (like whats the date or whatever) because it seems like she always asks me stuff like that. even last year, if i had her for a study or something.

the schedules were all effed up..we got there and she was like i dont have the schedules, and the office was like we dont have the schedules. and then they said they found them, and she sent us down ("GET UP AND GO DOWN" boomed alice), but they told us to go back up and wait, then the office called and said AGAIN that they had the schedules, and to send someone down and get them. so she sent shawn. then they called again and said they had the schedules. i was like DIE DIE DIE. this was all over a span of 20 minutes, mind you.

that took up all of first period (gym/study) so i didnt get to see vanessa or nik or anyone else that is in my gym class.

2nd period- kickass! thats french 3, already been described. it'll be fun.

3rd period- english. he scared the crap out of us saying how hard the class is going to be. i'm worried. i really hated their eyes were watching god...its like a great story but so hard to interpret the dialect.

4th period- chemtastic. its me and 3 other friends in the back corner, as alice towers over everonye else. she doesnt actually tower (for those of you who dont know her) because she's wicked short. but still. it'll be a good class..its a bit big though.

5th period- history. pacheco is wicked funny, but he's going to lay down the work this year. the class is good people and its small, so i dont have to worry about getting made fun of. hasn't happened yet.

6th period- precalc. i already know i'm going to love this one. even though its a huge class and generally i hate those (i did amazingly well in maki's 7-people class last year) franny is really nice and i like her grading/extra credit methods.

7th period- compy. here i am. she's giving us a free period since we're kinda stuck upstairs. katie has IA8 at the same time as my compy class every other day, so our room is going to switch around alot. sigh. i love compy though. compy, gym/study, french, and precal are going to be my fave classes, i predict.

SO. summary of the day. its going to be a tough year, a really tough year, but i will grin and bear it because i know next year is going to be much better. i wanna take psychology, french 4, some kind of computer class, i'd love to TA for someone (if i can get out of gym for this), AP calc, physics, english 4. the last 3 might be kind of hard but hey, it'll be worth it.

so in compy, it looks like kevin and i will be doing the website this year. by kevin and i, i mean me. i honestly dont think he'll be that into it. but hey thats fine, i like doing stuff by myself anyway.

oh. so i saw someone today. and i got extremely worried. because theres something that i'm assuming and i hope i'm wrong, because if i'm right someone is going to be very upset. but i cant say it, because i say things like these far too often. though i'm quite sure i'm right in this case...

ANYWAY. it hit me in chem that i have school every day from now for a loooong time. i dont know what my subconcious was thinking..something about having summer after the first day of school. i just didnt realize what the start of school meant. sigh.

its going to be a good year, but a long year. a hard year. i'm just glad i have studies and stuff. and i have friends in all my classes, and whatnot.

this entry is so over.

forward to time past

2004-08-30T17:42:00.000-04:00

so now, everything is to do with time. i reached 100 posts a little while ago (at laras home forums) and Bex changed my member title thingy to time-raider, and i made all these crazy cool wallpapers (http://jackie.wyk.edu.hk/c5/blog2/walls.htm) and i was like whoa i should make a new version. lol so i did.

i dont feel like writing much else right now. i'm waiting for kasey to get home so i can find something to do. i should eat, get ready for school tommorow, but i dont feel like doing any of that right now.

i should level edit for a bit. with a snack. after i skim through my summer reading again (since i like forgot it all already) then get my stuff packed.

this time i'll post screens, and i might post a pic of my room with the dragon and prayer flags. i freaking love my room.

oh and if anyones wondering, biohazard and Megan are from laras home forums :) i dont know much about BH but Megan made some wicked nice wallpapers and posted them on the forum (which inspired me to make some of my own) so yeah. i always feel like i have to clarify when a new person shouts lol.

ANYWAY time for skimming the book/getting a snack/level editing

pass the time in my room alone

2004-08-30T01:52:00.000-04:00

adams song by blink-182. thanks katie!

so. i have 10 minutes until i have to wash off my "refining mask" and go to bed. its 2:20....i shouldn't have stayed up this late. i have to be going to bed at like 10 tommorow night, or no way i'll get up early enough for school.

i really want to avoid writing about the trip again. it wasnt bad. ptown was awesome, the highlight of the trip (and the movies with jill) but i really hate hate hate camping. karl was tolerable (even likeable) a lot of the time, but he still ended up being bossy/an insufferable know-it-all/suck-the-fun-out-of-everything-er after all. i hate him a little less than i used to.

we had to wait like all day to go home, we could have just left in the morning after a stop in ptown but noooo we have to go on a 4 hour whale watch (we saw NO whales, btw...me and katie slept through it) and then it'll be too trafficky to leave, so lets hang around at the campsite more, then eat, then leave, and still be in the traffic. good plan.

sigh.

i hate camping, i really hope i never have to go again. i missed kasey like crazy, it really takes a balance of him and michelle to pull off a trip like that, but it was just michelle the whole time. i mean girls are great, i get along with them great, but sometimes i just need to talk to a guy. other than karl. peter doesn't really count, seeing as he's my gay uncle.

so anyway, ptown was awesome. i got 2 posters- kill bill and a harry potter 2 one, featuring the polyjuice potion. its coolerino.

i got 4 new necklaces at the coolest store in the world, all those for $10 was a hot deal.

i got this cool lamp and a string of lights to match it, one of those chinese ball-ish lanterns, a string of really really nice tibetan prayer flags (pic coming soon)

oh and also they have a dont panic store there. turns out its a gay company and they are based in ptown and some other places. i bought a gay pride bracelet and the really hot gay cashier gave me two "i kiss boys" stickers. i was like i love you and your hotness.

everyone is so god damn hot there.

so more will come tommorow. we have to do some unpacking tommorow, unfortunately. im getting up at 10..such a crappy "transition" but seeing as how its 2:30 and im still up...

anyway, speaking of 2:30, i need to go wash my face.

another reason i hate camping- my face looked like shit while i was there. never go 4 days without proactiv again. oh yeah, and i will never wear those outfits i had to wear there again. ew.

i'm leaving you all now!

2004-08-26T09:58:00.000-04:00

so i gotta pack. i'm writing one more entry.

here's my skedge:

1 gym/study (day 2 with neusch, days 4 + 6 with frannie)
2 french/barry
3 english/doherty
4 chem/posty-loo!
5 history/steve-a-licious
6 pre-cal/frannie
7 compy/velazquez

woot and a half. so heres this that jack and i were saying:

immensenight19: i found out today i have like 80,000 classes with nicole
jXackie: you're taking 80,000 classes?
immensenight19: i'm using my time turner
jXackie: hehehe.

cuz nik and i def. have 4 classes together. and that kicks A LOT of ass.

i made two new secret sns...but i can't tell you o_O

ok i'm leaving now. bye!

shot myself in the foot...

2004-08-26T08:41:00.000-04:00

perhaps i shouldn't have told my mom WHICH friend i wanted to meet up there. she went straight up to michelles sulky room and told her jill was going to be there.

now michelles coming with us :/

now i can only think of how horrible she's going to make the drive-in. its like come on michelle, you see her all the time at school and i never get to, cant you just not come. ugh. i sound horrible but seriously. this would be so much more bearable if it was just karl my mom katie and i. maybe katie and i could learn to like karl after spending a few days without his kids. i'd much rather kasey go than michelle. i dont know why he isn't going, but i really wish he was. he's so kind and mild mannered compared with michelle. especially lately.

toilet? what toilet? i've never seen a toilet in my life?

bitch.

anyway i'm just having myself a rant. i know some of you that read this like michelle, but seriously, try living with her. try having her blame everything in the house that goes wrong on YOU.

i dont want her to freaking come. i should go up and tell her jill and i cancelled our plans or something.

but i hate lying.

maybe i should just grin and bear it, and try to be obvlivious to her bitchyness at the drive-in. i hate having to share friends :/

still though, if i wasnt seeing jill, and my uncle wasnt taking me to p-town, i would NOT be going. why give up the chance to spend 4 days alone? especially right before school. i wont get another chance. probably ever. but there are people outside immediate family (if you can call us one) that i care about :)

so jill and peter, i am doing this for you. and you alone.

oh, and katie. because she'd like cry if i stayed home.

i wish kasey would go. jesus fuck i really do. even if he's obnoxious the whole time. i dont give a damn.

i can't rant anymore, not in this journal. i should've kept my bigass mouth shut though, i really shot myself in the foot this time.

this better be fun, god dammit.

i miss you, miss you so bad

2004-08-26T01:22:00.000-04:00

umm im not aiming that quote, or the song at anyone in particular. i just love the lyrics. though i haven't heard from andrew at all lately. :/

so camping tommorow! i knwo you all just think i'm using a 4 day 3 night camping trip as an excuse to not update, but i'm seriously going.

i'm kind of looking forward to it. i mean we're going to p-town, i get to hang out with jill and go to that drive in, but i wish i could have some more days of summer when we get home. i only have one, then BAM school starts. bad news.

anyway i hope you all like the new version, i know i do.

so vanessa came over today :) we walked and met each ohter half way, then came back. i showed her my level (you have NO FREAKING IDEA how proud i am of that cutscene) then we watched resident evil, then TR2. we nearly finished it.

i got the full AOD soundtrack last night, its available mostly on tombraiderchronicles.com. i'm gonna put some on my mp3 player, i love it. its almost as good as the POP one.

so i have to get up for 8 to help karl load the bikes. i really dont want to, but otherwise i'll have to go with him and kasey (if kasey is going, i dont think so for some reason) and the rest, instead of just my mom and katie. which i'd much rather do. id rather load the bikes later, or not at all, but those are not options.

alas.

anyway thats enough, i need to go to bed!

sigh.

2004-08-21T01:49:00.000-04:00

so today was actually quite a good day. but before i write about that, im going to write about last night/early this morning.

nathan and i stayed up till SEVEN AM. SEVEN. no earlier. i dont know if he stayed up any later, but i sure didn't.

last night i was trying to redesign my journal, but i ended up reading fanfics, which i immediately sent to nathan. have i mentioned my love for tom felton/draco malfoy lately? i simply love the actor and his character. *sigh* i think my new version is going to be quite slytherin-ish. it'll be a dark green/silver/black kinda thing, with maybe some maroon/purple ish in there. speaking of maroon, i hope the concert was fun guys!

anyway we were up till 7 reading fics, then i went to bed and katie got me up at 2 saying diane would be there in an hour to pick us up. i took my time getting ready, and at about 2:40 a van pulled in and katie started FREAKING OUT because neither of us were near ready, and she was like "JUST THROW YOUR STUFF IN THE BAG AND RUN!!!!!" (sorry katie but its too precious to pass up) she always gets worked up about stuff with daddy/diane. if karl pulled in we'd take our bloody time. i'm reading too much harry potter, i just used the word bloody as an adjective not related to death. i almost said reckon the other day. i love harry potter. jk rowling is my hero!

anyway, it wasnt diane, it was michelle getting dropped off from babysitting. when i was ready to go i went and knocked on her door, with no answer. i went in and grabbed the summer reading book, putting $7.00 where it was (as she wanted me to pay for half..blarg) and diane showed up soon after and we left.

unfortunately..i forgot deodorant and i hadn't shaved that morning. :-/ and yes, you all NEEDED to know that. i always forget stuff when i go here. always.

anyway, it was a day of pool/tacos/and staying up extremely late by accident.

when the 3 of us got out of the pool (after a serious stepfam rant) it was 11:11 and i wished for something none of you need know about, then we went downstairs and started watching anaconda (because it was on..lol. it SUCKED) and my dad fell asleep like instantly. then david letterman was on, i drifted in and out for that, then some golf thing was on and i woke up and decided i really wasnt tired anymore, went upstairs for a bit, came back down, and when my dad got up i pretended to be asleep (so he wouldnt think i was in on the staying-up-till-1:30-business) and he was all "you have to get up early" which i do. he'll be waking me up in 6 hours. :-/

I DONT WANT TO GO TO WORK. i have to tell jamie that i need to take next weekend off. that sucks! as much as i'm sick of my job, i HAVE to go every weekend, as much as i dont want to. i know its the perfect job and it couldn't get much better, but honestly, another busy day like the other week and i swear i'll snap at someone. anyway, for a while things will slow down, everyone got their shopping done on no tax day, its beautiful out, and since the summer is over people will have other things to do than go to furniture stores. then for the winter its supposed to be crazy ass busy.

al keeps asking me if i'm doing this for just a summer job or if i'll keep it. i get the odd suspicion he doesn't like me. he's uber sketchy. one time i was making cookies upstairs (back in the olden days) and i just came up to check on them, they needed 15 more minutes, and he was up there so i was like hi and stuff. then i said i should probably get downstairs and see how things were going, and he was like nahh theres nothing going on down there. and i was like SKETCHTASTIC. it doesnt sound sketchy now, but if you were there...

i just dont like al. or some other people there.

but seriously, its the best job i can find, its weekend only, really good pay, and its fucking easy. most of the time anyway. i have great people skills.

speaking of which, my mom says i should be a psychologist or a counselor. and i totally agree. not only am i great at reading people/understanding people/giving advice, it seems like it would be an interesting job, not to mention you make a killing. not to sound...bad or something. but i really want to have a lot of money. i want some really cool house, not much more but just a cool house. i dont want a fancy shmancy car or something, i just want a cool house. i'm dead serious, people.

anyway i think that would be good for me...

hmm. i know i wont be able to go to bed if i try, so i'm going to keep writing.

anyway after work tommorow, i'll be back here by 7, we'll eat, watch a movie/play a board game, then i'll be back on here (hopefully) to talk to you fine people, then i'll be up at 10 to get ready for work again. then, sunday night, daddy's taking katie and i to see AVP. i think its stupid, and i dont really care, but hey, i'll see it. my dad loves alien. i think its a great series, and i love it too, but the whole concept of AVP is STUPID. just like freddy versus jason. i mean come on. a part of me wants to see it though, and i love going to the movies, so sure.

then (thank god) he's dropping us off at home. i was afraid i'd have to stay another nght here. that sounds horrible...but i love staying at home.

i mean i love coming here and seeing everyone and stuff, but i wish i could sleep at home. my room here isn't really that good (its practically a closet in the basement, where diane does her knitting or whatever...) and i dont sleep well. i do avoid all the screaming baby nonsense, but still. i would much rather be at home sunday night than here, thank you very much. as much as i hate saying that, and i feel awful.

i love staying here though, i mean the whole house is clean and full of food, and theres no lazy michelle watching tv or karl runnning around all over the place...

sigh.

i just love my room at home, i can do anything i want and nobody knows about it. i can watch the freaking sunday night sex show and stay up till 7 in the morning reading fanfics and nobody cares. that shit wouldn't fly here, my dad doesn't like that i stay up late during the summer.

honestly, i'm just a nocturnal person. i think better at night. nobody else is around, and i like being alone sometimes. so i stay up. nathan now understands why i sleep so late. maybe if you other people stayed up late you'd realize how much fun it is :p

anyway i dont really want to work, but i dont not-want to work. i just hope its slow and i can read the stupid summer reading book, and maybe someone will come and talk to me for a while. be it friendly employee or kind old lady, i love talking to nice people at work. i talked to the nicest woman once..she musta been in her 50s. she was so nice and she didnt treat me like some punk teenager. honestly, katrina over there acts like i'm a little kid. i know she doesnt mean to, she's nice and i love her, but she just acts like that. i'm really not the common teenager, alot of you know that. i'm proud of that about myself.

anyway the lady was talking to me for a while about stuff, and when she left she said "thanks for the coffee and chit chat" and i was like OMG i love people. lol!

so i'm wearing my 3 "summer outfits" for the last time this weekend. the shorts/billabong t-shirt...GONE. the blue shorts/o'neill t-shirt...GONE. the black/yellow outfit...GONE for now. i like that one, the other two i'm really sick of, esp the blue.

OMG wait till you all see my new outfits. i love them to death. the only one i'm kind of uneasy about is the one i got 2/3 of at pac sun. i got pants from independent which are nice, and a longsleeve shirt form the same. it has independent all over it, then i got a t-shirt to go over it at bobs. its independent as well.

i'll probly look like a freaking independent billboard wearing those...so i'll mix in the "sorry i dont do girls" and "your mom likes me better than you" shirts :) probably
YMLMBTY more often though, for obvious reasons. as much as i love the SIDDG shirt, wearing it at school could cause some problems. am i allowed to wear something like that? hmm...

anyway i have like 7 outfits, 2 left over from last year/summer, and one is those nice macgear black pants which will go with those two hot topic tshirts. perhaps i will get more, and mix that outfit up even better! shirts at HT are pretty cheap.

wow i've rambled on about outfits and work and my dads house for far too long. sorry if i bored you..but judging by the fact that you're still reading, i probably didnt.

i'll try and sneak on again tommorow night.

yay 5.5 hours of sleep ahead of me! then work :-/

night all!

quiztastic.

2004-08-20T00:39:00.000-04:00

stole this one from lyd.

i know i havent posted in a while..but deal with it!

i'll be back sunday.

The Basics//
Your full name, please?:	michael rory mccracken.
Age:	16.
Location:	boylston.
Gender:	male.
School:	tahanto.
Hair Color:	it varies.
Eye Color:	hazel.
Height:	5'8''.
Weight:	120.
Any obsessions?:	the OC, tomb raider, prince of persia, harry potter, tom felton, linkin park, switchfoot.
How about addictions?:	cranberry juice.
Favorite..//
Bands:	linkin park, switchfoot, black eyed peas, avril, michelle branch, sugarcult, p!nk, dashboard, dido, yellowcard, vanessa carlton, story of the year to name a few.
Movies:	kill bill, matrix, charlies angels, the ring, saved, italian job, resident evil, tomb raider, bourne identity, harry potter 3.
Colors:	black, blue, grey, green.
Vacation Spot:	ogunquit, cruise.
Countries:	australia, france, ireland, japan.
TV Shows:	family guy, futurama, simpsons, case closed, the OC, the amanda show.
Cartoons:	meh.
Reality Shows:	meh.
Channels:	whatever the above are on.
Hobbies:	level editing, reading, AIM, malling, movie partying, listening to music, walking.
Sports:	quidditch.
Animals:	rosy, tabby and holly. the other one doesn't count.
Makeup Items [[girls.. or guys ;)]]:	meh.
Clothing Items:	pants/shirt w/ longsleeve under if its cold, sex bracelets, necklace, watch.
Foods:	pizza, mac & cheese, tortellini, chinese food, tacos.
Sodas:	sprite, orange soda, root beer, cream soda.
Hot Drinks:	hot chocolate, hot chocolate with a bit of french vanilla.
Places to hang out:	the mall, someones house.
Cars:	who gives a damn?
Sex Life//
Your sexuality?:	if you dont know now, you never will.
Are you a virgin?:	for the time being.
If you are a virgin, do you wish you weren't?:	not really.
What people you know personally would you consider doing?:	if i listed any, alot of people that dont really know me would think i was WICKED sketchy.
Any celebrities you would do?:	tom felton. name the time and place.
Your favorite position?:	ask your mom.
Best song to have sex to?:	ask your mom.
Worst song to have sex to?:	something by weird al or like michael jackson. lol.
Would you have sex in a public place?:	no.
..On a rooftop?:	depends on the rooftop.
..In a car?:	yes.
..With more than one person at once?:	no.
What do you think of anal sex?:	well its one of my few choices.
Vaginal sex?:	eww girls have cooties!
Oral sex?:	why dont i give you my answer orally. ha-ha-ha.
Best sheet fabric when having sex?:	WTf?!
Many pillows, hardly any or none?:	a few.
Many blankets, hardly any or none?:	lots.
Would you ever incorporate ''sex foods'' into sex?:	sex foods....WTf?!
Would you use flavored lubricant//condoms?:	meh.
Random//
Have a crush on anyone?:	many, many, many people.
Dating anyone?:	umm...i think...?
Ever been in love?:	i thought so.
Was it REAL love?:	i dont know.
Do you like Switchfoot?:	OMG! im listening to them now. i love them.
How about Slipknot?:	meh. duality is alright.
Story of the Year?:	i love story of the year.
Dropkick Murphy's?:	meh.
Taking Back Sunday?:	meh.
Do you spend most of your life on the computer?:	not really.
Do you work?:	yes.
Where?:	bernie and phyls.
Sick of the random section?:	yes.
Good. So am I.
This or That//
Chocolate or Vanilla:	chocolate.
Carmen Electra or Pamela Anderson:	cooties!
Love without sex or sex without love:	love without sex.
Silver or cold:	silver.
Sunshine or rain:	rain.
The city or the country:	depends on the city.
Story of the Year or Coheed + Cambria?:	story of the year.
Finch or Thrice?:	thrice.
Slipknot or Bleeding Through?:	slipknot.
Pink or purple?:	purple.
Stripes or polka dots?:	stripes.
Horror or comedy?:	horror.
Nightmare Before Christmas or Beetlejuice?:	night before christmas.
Ocean or lake?:	ocean.
Dolphin or shark?:	dolphin.
High school or college?:	high school.
Day camp or away from home camp?:	neither.
Kisses or hugs?:	both.
Christmas or Halloween?:	thats practically christ vs. antichrist. i think both.
Spongebob or Patrick?:	spongebob.
Care Bears or My Little Pony?:	care bears.
White or black?:	black.
Color or black + white photography?:	depends on the picture.
The 80's or the 90's?:	the 90's.
Lipstick or lipgloss?:	meh.
Mascara or eyeliner?:	meh.
Pale or tan?:	pale.
Checkers or solid color?:	solid.
Skulls or stars?:	stars.
So.. Wanna email me at malicexinxwonderland@hotmail.com? I'd love you.:	alice KICKS ASS. but no.
Thanks for taking my survey.

The Classic YOU Quiz with some new stuff tossed in. TAKE IT! brought to you by BZOINK!

irony at its best

2004-08-13T19:46:00.000-04:00

hehe so i was playing theif for a while. its just my crappy old demo i got with tomb raider but its a fun game. i wanna get the new thief on xbox.

anyway theres a drunken guard and you're supposed to pickpocket or club him over the head. i chose the latter, but accidently hit his arm or something. he was stupid and kept going around in circles because he was drunk, so i just kept hitting him with my club until he died. later i finish the demo, exit the game, open winamp, and whats the first song that plays? def. clubbed to death by rob dougan (matrix soundtrack). isnt that AWESOME? lol...

anyway. i tried calling andrew today and he was playing prince of persia (i swear, all the coolest people play it, me, him, zach, geckokid) so he said he was gonna call me back...but so far he hasnt. ah well.

we had chinese food today! yay! i'm going to go investigate more food, that chinese was hours ago.

i wanna go to the mall soon....lalala. i wanna get azkaban for GC and theif 3 for xbox. excuse me, thief. that'll be expensive, but since i worked 12 hours instead of 8 last saturday (not to mention 7 hours instead of 5 on sunday) i think i am entitled to spend the extra i made. besides, it was ME who said i should put 80% of my money in the bank. my mom was talking about putting 75! besides, i have plenty of money and i havent cashed like 3 paychecks. so i'll be all set. wow that was aboring rant. i dont think i even need to use the extra money i made. haha wow i'm tired.

hmmmmmmm....

i talked to vanessa a bit on the phone today, that was fun :)

anyway. i'm gonna go, theres nothing good left to write about.

bye!

bah-leerg and a half

2004-08-13T05:36:00.000-04:00

so all my level editor efforts keep dying. i made a beautiful title load screen, but i cant get the mist effects to work, or the shafts of light through the leaves. if i cant get those, it totally wont look like that prince of persia room. dammit!

and my angkor level is crashing again. somethin with the wad.

anyway. its 5:30. i'm taking advantage of summer, i love staying up this late/early.

today was boring. hung out with kasey alot. bah.

so i've been thinking of ideas for a new journal design. totally different. it'll be a full website, like i used to have, with this on it. i dunno how i'm going to work that though.

ugh i'm so bored. i need to sleep but i have to wait a few. im gonna go watch my title load screen again.

sorry if this entry was boring, lol. i'll get back into writing soon

the fam needs to LEAVE more

2004-08-08T02:57:00.000-04:00

i'm really depressed because tonight is my last night alone. tommorow the house is going to be noisy and messy and full again. i really dont like it like that, i wish they could be gone for a few more days. a few more days when i dont have to go to my dads house for a night or spend 12 hours at work. it just isnt fair, i want some mroe alone time before the end of the summer.

maybe my mom will try to arrange something else for one of her weekends. i'll still have work, but a few hours after work is better than nothing.

darrin gave me a ride home tonight, but not until 9:30 (12 hours after i got in, can you believe how i kept my sanity?) and he's gonna give me rides again tommorow. i dont even want to go to work. blah...

i guess i'm just waiting for it to be a weekday so i can stay up late and avoid everyone. i also loved how my mom had a ton of food for me to eat. i had some good times. i'm just upset right now.

i really wanted to talk to andrew tonight, and andi and i were like yea he should REALLY go online. he did. for a split second he went on, but i was too slow. then he came on later for a good 30 seconds, but my computer was going so slow for some reason and by the time i typed a message and hit enter, he signed off at the exact moment. i felt wicked bad. i mean, i cant keep calling him, the long distance...its no good. whatever.

its only a few days now. i'm excited to meet him but i still have to arrange how i'm getting there.

lyd wants me to go with her to amherst on monday, sounds good! i'll need to get out of this house when everyone comes back.

so vanessa got a new journal, and lyd redesigned hers. both of them look awesome! i know i just did mine, but i might re-do it to something completely different. it'll be sooo complicated, i hope i can figure something out.

but now its 3AM and im kinda tired. i'm thinkin im gonna throw on the italian job and fall asleep (i fall asleep easier while trying to watch tv or a movie, even if its a scary movie) sine i have to wake up at 9:30 tommorow.

i'm happy that my mom is coming home, i just miss the times when the house was quiet.

sigh.

andrew- start going online more! <3333!

the rest of you- VISIT ME AT WORK TOMMOROW (12-6) OR SUFFER THE DIRE CONSEQUENCES!

im BACK! muahahhaaa!!

2004-08-04T18:43:00.000-04:00

so its been down almost two weeks, and i have it back (and faster than ever) for the weekend, until sunday when everyone comes back, then we need to find a permanent solution.

so since i'm the ONLY one hooked up to the thingie, i'm receiving like pure connection and i have extremely fast internet, which kicks ass.

i downloaded ad-aware..took like 10 seconds. stopped that stupid messenger service thing before it even started..heh heh. i should ask my dad to pay me to get rid of that on his comp..he HATES it.

yay, silver and cold is playing, i havent listened to that in ages.

hmmm so i have a million things to write about, but i wont. not here anway. i'm making a secret journal.

IM GONNA BE ALONE FROM TOMMOROW THROUGH SUNDAY! how much ass does that kick? quite alot, let me tell you. my dad wants me to go there friday, but thats kinda not really high on my wanting to do list. i kinda had plans with lyd, and i dont want to go there in general.

so i went for a walk yesterday and darrin was coming home from work, so he pulled over and we talked for a few. its funny! he's giving me rides this weekend.

i'm getting progress in wind waker, its almost over. i have 3/8 triforce charts, then i need the 8 shards, then i fight ganon and its over. phenomenal game, i love it!

i'm over halfway done with harry potter 5. again.

seriously people, this is what has been entertaining me without the internet. that and making calls, and having plans occasionally.

so i havent written much about andrew...i dont know why. i've been calling him alot lately, but i cant call that much since its long distance :-/ i cant wait for him to come back.

i'm gonna go upstairs a bit, and i'll be back later.

just wanted to let you all know i'm back!

oh and eddy- wanna test my level? its gonna be you, chris-craig michaels and kurtis trent if you want to. i'll give you the link later.

so much for my happy ending

2004-07-24T23:47:00.000-04:00

so i'm sick of this weekend and it needs to be over. i wrote a hugeass rant in my secret journal. im not giving the link out, i only want a few people to be able to read it.

i just wrote something out and then erased it, probably for the better.

i just wrote alot more and then erased it, probably for the best. i wont put it online.

anyway i'm going to bed now, i wrote a long entry before and i'm not really feeling like another one.

i hope thursday works out with lyd nessa and i. t'will be good times.

night, y'all

where the goats are

2004-07-20T01:08:00.000-04:00

jesus fuck blogger's new version sucks. it kept fucking with my code and it took me FOREVER to post this image.

wooo! clickie go biggie! thats lyd and i's big-inside-joke-of-the-moment, and if you look in my info its an ad for it. the sequel is coming soon, it will be just as chilling....

anyway thats what entertained me for a while. i didnt make the images, like the background and the goat, i just edited them. sue me! i did alot of work on it and i think it looks good.

i bet you're wondering why britney spears is the other star...well i wanted to be random. so there ya go!

wanting you, so desperately...

2004-07-20T00:26:00.000-04:00

yea i'm really no good right now. i'm wicked worried about tommorow.

i dont know if my mom called peter and i doubt she did, and im just afraid that because i wont show up someone will call and be all mad at me or something. i really cant do it, and im not going tommorow. and nobodys really said much of anything about it, so its not like i even know what the hell i'll be doing. i dont know what the warehouse guys do.

and im really worried that someones going to be mad. like extremely worried. ughh....

i cant work during the week, it just wont happen. ughh...

and i have this really foreboding feeling that something bad will happen, and i just feel gross and sick because of it.

i worked on my main site quite a bit tonight and it looks nice, but now that i have to put stuff on it i think it's probably as good as done. i'm too lazy to do that right now. i wanna play a game and get my mind off all the shit i'll soon have to deal with.

but first...ice cream!

oh and btw, there is someone i want so desperately. none of you will ever guess, so dont even try.

when this is guiding you home

2004-07-19T21:25:00.000-04:00

"such great heights" by the postal service.

SO MY COMP IS FIXED!!! par-tay!!!

so heres my last night and this day update. then i have someone special to talk about :)

so yesterday. work sucked ass. speaking of work, i hope my mom called peter and he knows im not coming tomorow because i'm really not. i really cant, and im really never going to.

i had to stay an extra hour late, my mom said she would get me at 5:15-5:30 and ended up coming at 6. what a waste of $9...

so i started cleaning my room (which really didnt need it, i just moved books around and stuff) and halfway through em called and asked if i wanted to go to ians. and i was like sure.

so a bit later her mom picked me up and we got lost but ended up at ians house. it was us, him, lyd and mel. we watched office space and played apples to apples.

so then i went home and finished cleaning my room. everything is really organized and stuff now. no more crap i dont need. i redid that today, cleaning out the other bookshelf and organizing it.

karl fixed my comp today. it seemed like he barely did anything, just typed a few commands and it started up. i was like wtf. i hate computers! lol.

i slept late today, didnt do much of anything besides set things up and make my room perfect.

NATE GAVE ME AN OC POSTER AND I PUT IT UP AND IT ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!

my room is alot better now, i love it. i made a cd for me to listen to on the xbox so viruscan could run faster (btw it found a virus, which is the source of the problem and its gone now) buit xbox was like MEHHHH we dont LIKE you so i'm playing it on the comp now.

<333 bittersweet symphony

this is my top five songs (of the moment, though the top 2 are very concrete)

1 - dare you to move
2 - bittersweet symphony
3 - two way monologues
4 - tuesday morning
5 - two beds and a coffee machine

<333 those songs!

so those were my two days and top five. i'm very glad nathan is home and my comp works again, but im getting this really gross feeling in my stomach when i think about work. i really cant do the week thing. i just cant. and im not going to. so whatever.

so i've found someone good now, and i really hope this works out better than last time, but unfortunately i wont be able to see him till august 10th. we're meeting at solomon, which is pretty much perfect. that way i dont have to get in a strangers car, i can just meet them somewhere. so much better. anyway he's wicked cute and we've been talking alot.

omg i LOVE this song. two way monologues by sondre lerche. pretty little norweigan boy with a hot voice and even hotter face. i'm getting more of his music and some other stuff soon.

i really wanna go to the mall. like NOW. so if you are interested, lemme know. nate and i wanna go, with like em/jack/lyd/vanessa or anyone who wants to go.

so i'm in a chat now and i kinda have to go, cant write and keep up with chats. bubbye!

yayyyy lyddies house!

2004-07-18T02:29:00.000-04:00

so today turned out being wicked fun even though at the end of work i was like AHHHH

we had uber good times, and we got papa ginos which KICKS ASS and theres a ton of funny quotes and stuff.

its sooo hard to type on a laptop.

im gonna steal the quotes from lyds LJ later cuz im lazy and i dont want to type.

so im glad nathans home. i love all of these people, lyd em nathan and mel :)

we will have some interesting pictures soon, and quotes and stuff.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

ok i'll write the rest tommorow. its so hard to type and i think em wants to check her mail.

my comp died :-/

2004-07-17T18:46:00.000-04:00

so i have to use the crap crap upstairs one..but whatev.

right now its like suspended...the other day it went wicked slow and then just froze, so kasey was messing with it and i restarted, and now i get this screen that doesnt make any sense, so i cant even get on the computer. not even in safe mode. i'm going to have to resort to drastic measures to have it fixed...thats right..you know who i mean.

but whatever. i just want the files that are on it safe and sound. i have pictures from all our trips that arent on the dell, and pictures of you fine people, and over 1200 songs, all sorts of stuff that i dont want lost. so i really hope he who must not be named can fix it.

i'm only calling him that since i'm in such a harry potter esque mood. i finished goblet of fire today, reading at least 70% of it.

so today- boring as hell, i couldnt WAIT to get home. and then barnie comes up and wants me to work tuesday and thursday as well, where i will have to vaccuum.

the whole store.

vacuum.

the whole store.

i'll let that sink in for a minute..

so i just went out and got the phone, and nana & buppa are here, and she gave me more details about what peter had said about it.

apparently the warehouse guys would be glad to pick me up and bring me there during the week.

i dont like the warehouse guys. they are tres tres sketchy. i could see all of them out smoking pot, and they've never been particularly nice to me. i just wanna keep my twice a week cookie job!

i dont want to work more days and miss more parties (i've already missed a ton of important stuff, such as jackie's bday party and teresas going away party) and all for something i'm really sick of, with people i really dont like. and nobody understands. they're like "you'll make more money" i'm like fuck that. good times are better than money.

ughh...and on top of all that my comp is broke and em cant come tonight. i've had a fair few phone conversations in the last 20 minutes and from what i gather, joe james and jack are going out to eat, and lyd and i are picking up the pieces trying to figure out whats going on, or when the fireworks are, or when the hell the seilers are getting home. nathan better be coming tonight or a death squad will soon be visiting the seiler residence...

so john's here, i gotta go

ttyl, yo

john williams is my hero!

2004-07-15T00:29:00.000-04:00

in all seriousness. i just love the harry3 soundtrack. a window to the past and secrets of the castle are my two new favorites.

so i'm all obsessed with harry and at this point im DYING TO SEE THE THIRD MOVIE AGAIN!!!

so kasey has left the xbox in my room and its kinda mine for now. last night at 11 i started playing harry 2, and i stayed up until 8 in the morning playing it. i almost had it finished, but i ended up finishing it today. i was very proud of myself lol.

we got the house cup and quidditch cup (i kick ass at quidditch) and i have all the spells and items and stuff. its a wicked fun game.

so i'm gonna read goblet of fire in a few, to distract myself from wanting to see azkaban again so bad. all my downloads so far have failed :/

im downloading some pics of the azkaban game from its official site, but they're taking forever. its 82% done by now.

so em asked if it was ok if i went out on my birthday, and she said she couldnt tell me where but it'd be the 5 of us. i love our 5 people group thing :) i'm all excited now, my birthday is actually coming up pretty fast.

speaking of which, today is the 15th. NATHAN WILL BE HOME SOON!!! he's done with classes today, then he will be coming home tommorow, and on the 17th he'll be here. then we're going to clinton fireworks saturday night (i just remembered i have work..shit) and then to sleep over lyds (if parents agree) and hopefully i can get home by 10:30 or so. i really hope all that works out!

omg i wish i could apparate to solomon pond and see if azkaban is still playing. OMG. *sigh*

i have other things to write about, like lots but as usual i cant.

oooohhh the BEST PART of secrets of the castle is coming on. its so pretty! im using it in my website i think, which i am working on. its pretty too. dark blue/light blue kinda theme, havent chosen any images yet. def. that music though.

so i think its goblet time, with some cran/rasp juice on the side.

g'bye!

i. hate. boys. period.

2004-07-13T01:17:00.000-04:00

nahhhh jk! but seriously. kasey and jeff suck. they're in here playing xbox because my TV kicks ass and kaseys room is a dump, and they're just trashing every song i play.

its actually hilarious, i'm making some great comments, but whatever.

so i havent written in a few days but whatever.

my comp died today, it just kept crashing when i logged in. lucky jeff was here and got me into safe mode, then i was able to copy files over to the dell, then i formatted this computer and took back my other files. so i didnt lose music, pictures, i didnt lose much of anything. just the virus, and my organized winamp playlists :/ i have to format EVERY SONG over. oh well! i've already got A-D done in like 20 minutes. its worth it.

i met somebody new today. 3 people actually, 1 that i really liked. his friend andrea introduced them, she's a lesbian and he (andrew) is lonely and stuff. then i talked to him a bit. i had picture him the whole time as being a small cute kid, and surprise, he was! he's in florida until august, unfortunately.

i need to think that over.

hmm what else can i write about now....i need to install TRLE thats what i really want to do.

i reorganized my buddy list today.

the boys, the girls, the boiss, the grrls, the family, the alter-egos, and the others.

boys is straight boys, girls is straight girls, boiss is gay boys, grrls is gay girls, family is family, alter-egos is my other sns, and the others is people i dont like.

i unlinked darkspark today *teary eyes* FAREWELL!!!

so harry potter didnt work. matroska sucks! but there is an AVI file on the way. 3.0% :/

ughhh...anyway i'm out.

hmmmmm...what to get me...

2004-07-09T15:56:00.000-04:00

for those of you who were wondering what to get me for my bday....

A TIME MACHINE!

i'm dead serious people. actually what i really want is a time turner from harry potter. i've been thinking so much about this stuff lately and i really think its the coolest thing ever.

its so interesting reading all the theories online. people write so much about it. all the sites i've read say its possible- as long as we can constrain black holes and whatnot.

even though there are many paradoxes (go back in time, kill your grandmother, you were never born, you never went back in time, she was never killed...?!?!?!) physicists and people are all like there is no law of physics that prevents it. it is possible, we just have to learn how to do it. i think thats soooo cool.

i've been obsessed with the song "forward to time past" by john williams. it is on the prisoner of azkaban soundtrack, the song where harry + hermione use the timeturner. its so cool, full of clocks and gears and backwards stuff. that whole soundtrack is great! i <3 double trouble and lumos especially, in addition to forward to time past. i love the line something wicked this way comes. i made a new secret screen name based on it, i wont write it here or it wont be SECRET!

so anyway. actually in all seriousness, if oyu really want to know what to get me, a gift cert for suncoast, hot topic, best buy, electronics boutique or really any good store at the mall would be great. i would also LOVE a cert from bobs stores, because i worship bobs stores. thats kinda out of the way though, so you dont have to. alternatively, i would also love the switchfoot cd "beautiful letdown" but dont all of you get that! hehe.

of course joke gifts are fun too :)

but you dont have to get me anything, i wont care. i'm usually broke all the time too lol. seems the only times i really need money i just spent it all. bah-leerg!

so my dad is coming at 5:30-5:45 and we're going out to eat at some fancy place and then to see spiderman2. my dad was like its either that or dodgeball...i'm like SPIDERMAN. lol. i would also love to see harry potter 3 again hehe :D but i will soon. def! if im lucky, maybe by the time i get home. nah thats not happening.

i'm only staying at my dads one night this weekend, tommrow they're going to a party and im not going back for saturday night. it'd be pointless, i'd get there at like 8 and in 2 hours we'd all be asleep, then i'd wake up and go to work the next day. bunch of extra driving for no reason.

so i'll be back tomorow (saturday) around 6, after work that is. then i have work sunday (luckily i am missing katies CRAZY party) until 5. so either of those days i am free. plus i'm free all next week.

it sucks cuz i REALLY need to have a talk with vanessa about something but she's going to be gone all week. no offense to the rest of you but its not something i can talk to you about..haha :P

oooh! so my mom took katie and i grocery shopping today, and we made a KILLING. awesome food! bunch of different kidns of cranberry juice, pokemon (the other day i watched pokemon and yu gi oh for old times sake hehe, i'll probly keep watching them too) and spiral mac and cheese (like 8 boxes) ice cream, freezy pops, nilla wafers for me :) my special treat. and lots of other stuff too. GRANNY SMITH APPLES! *bows down and prays* digiorno and celeste pizzas..lotsa stuff.

NOBODY CAN HAVE MY NILLA WAFERS - BACK OFF!! :P

i'm gonna post for you my mp3 player playlist. its crazy random and theres lotsa harry potter tunes but you can deal- (btw with birthday money from the fam and money from work i'm buying a new CDMP3 player from iRiver, it'll play hundreds of songs off of one cd)

1-)Redemption by Switchfoot
2-)Anxiety by the Black Eyed Peas
3-)Family Reunion by blink-182
4-)Dip It Low by Christina Milian
5-)Watch Me Shine by Vanessa Carlton
6-)Double Trouble by John Wiliams
7-)Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve
8-)Until The Day I Die by Story of the Year
9-)Sic Transit Gloria by Brand New
10-)Forward to Time Past by John Williams
11-)This Is Your Life by Switchfoot
12-)Lumos! (Hedwig's Theme) by John Williams
13-)Nothing Better by The Postal Service
14-)Dare You To Move (Video Version) by Switchfoot
15-)Soar by Christina Aguilera
16-)Aunt Marge's Waltz by John Williams.

thats the most random playlist ever..i have christina milian+aguilera, the black eyed peas, john williams, the postal service, story of the year and switchfoot. and some other stuff obviously but still. its like linkin park and snoop dogg! wtf!

i dont even have anything remotely rockish on there, unless you count until the day i die.

havent listened to that song in a while so i threw it on there. the other day when i was walking to davidians i totally rocked out to that song. boobing and whatnot :D dare you to move i also get very into. and this is your life- my new second favorite switchfoot song. i dont have to tell you which is my favorite.

so i'm just rambling and you're probably all getting bored. lol...so i'll leave now and go play aod for an hour or so.

i'll be back tommorow no later than 6:30.

COME VISIT ME AT WORK OR THERE WILL BE DEATH AND DOOM IN YOUR VERY NEAR FUTURE. THIS MEANS YOU!!

have a lovely day :D

like today never happened before

2004-07-08T00:22:00.000-04:00

welcome to the planet, welcome to existance
everyones here, everyones here
everybodys watching you now, everybody waits for you now
what happens next? what happens next?

i dare you to move, i dare you to move
i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
i dare you to move, i dare you to move
like today never happened, today never happened before

welcome to the fallout, welcome to resistance
the tensions right here, i got your tension right here
between who you are and who you could be
between how it is and how it should be

i dare you to move, i dare you to move
i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
i dare you to move, i dare you to move
like today never happened, today never happened before

maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is back where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself
where ya gonna go? where ya gonna go? salvation is here

i dare you to move, i dare you to move
i dare you to lift yourself, to lift yourself up off the floor
i dare you to move! i dare you to move!
like today never happened, today never happened, today never happened, today never happened before

===============================

i hereby declare "i dare you to move" by switchfoot as my favorite song ever. i have the cd version, the music video version, an exclusive recording, a high quality version, and i'm working on getting a studio quality version (360-400kbps as opposed to the ordinary 128-192) because it really is worth all that effort. i really want a live version or an acoustic version (i have meant to live in acoustic woo!) but they arent released yet.

i love the song so god damn much oh my GOD. i have to see switchfoot live someday.

UNFORTUNATELY aim wont let me finish my away message, so i can only put 90% of the song. which totally defeats the purpose.

i absolutely love the video version and the exclusive version, it really sounds live. i could put a cheering audience behind the exclusive version and call it live. i love stuff thats live.

i also love how john foreman changes some of the words and sings parts differently in the exclusive version. its good shit and i love it. i just hope i can get the 360k version, that would sound sooooo nice.

so tommroow i'm going to see king arthur with sarah eileen and ian. lol nobody else could really go... and then were gonna go swimming at ians house, rain or shine. most likely rain but hey.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE i pray to the gods take away my sore throat! its soooo painful and i've had like 40 cough drops and i keep drinking warm liquids and its like soo annoying jesus christ. ugh. i just want to feel healthy tommorow lol. i think getting some actual sleep would help it, so i should go to bed soon. i dont wanna oversleep again either.

ima showya howta make ya man say wo

2004-07-07T16:54:00.000-04:00

oh that was soooo ghetto of me! of course.

ugh my throat is like pulling me down! all day i wanted to swim with everyone but i knew that would just make it worse. its like extremely painful. its not anythign big thoguh, its just something that happens. i had it in new zealand, and a few months ago. its just when i swallow it feels like i'm swallowing a brick or something. it reallly hurts and i cant think of like anything else. ughhh and all i wanna do is eat and drink!

but alas, we have no food.

speaking of the word alas, we saw harry today instead. lemme explain my morning:

i had set two alarms, one 10 minutes after the other one. 8:45 and 8:55. so the 8:45 one goes off, i have a vague recollection of it, and then i thought the song was ending when the 8:55 one ended, so i THOGUHT the first alarm had gone off, but in fact they both had. so i just kept sleeping, and eventually i was like hmmm. i got up and lookd at my watch and it was like 9:36. at first i was like lalala 9:36 what a lovely time. then i was like SHIT eileens gonna be here any minute!

so i like RAN up to the shower and as soon as i turned on the water the door bell rang...so i go out in my towel and im like hey...lol. and she was like if you need some time to get ready i'll go get sarah and come back. so that she did. and then we got to the movies and ian, em, matt, eric (eric ente, went to a movie with him and a few others once) james and katie were already there. and they were like hey..king arthur isnt playing at 10:15...they cancelled it for chicken run soemthing or other. we were all like WTF. but we ended up going to see harry potter 3 again (i could watch that movie ALL DAY its like sex) and i love that movie.

oh GOD i love that movie. its like perfect.

so then james left and the rest of us went back to matts, where jack and her mom were on the fast track to GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE. lol. so for a while everyone was swimming, except me cuz i felt like crap the whole time. then em and i called like 5503323 pizza places and NONE of them would deliver to berlin. so we decided eileen and ian would go out and get pizza from P & S pizza in clinton (named penis pizza by em and i) and they came back a bit later and ate. at some point katie left, and colleen arrived in her BIGASS TRUCK even though colleen is the smallest and nicest girl ever. its ironic. then mark batstone showed up. then he left. then em and i waited for her mom, who never showed up. so matt gave us both a ride home.

and that was my day :) i'm gonna go make some hot chocolate since hot chocolate and pepsi are the only things that really help my throat. i'm gonna ask my mom for some cough drops or something when she gets home, which should be any minute now.

it hurts so BAD OH MY GOD. ughhh... well ttyl! enjoy the new changes i made :)

haha btw, i stayed up till 5 this morning. i tried to go to bed between like 1 and 3, then at 3 i wsa like FUCK THIS im not falling asleep. so i got on the comp and read peoples journals, then made mine all pretty. all the new backgrounds were done in photoshop and stuff. :)

ok leaving for real now, byebye!

this will be the last time that i let you

2004-07-07T01:15:00.000-04:00

i wanted it to read "so kiss me hard, cuz this will be the last time that i let you" but that was too long. even this is too long, but whatever.

after quite a bit of sloshing through crap and deceit, bob and i are totally over. like never speaking again over. i tried to be the mature person and end it in a nice way, but after i said the last bit i just blocked him. all 3 of his sns. i know he has loads more but that was an hour ago so he's not going to use them. and he didnt email me either. and i dont want him to, because it'll be mean and just make me mad.

i'm not even sad this time, and thats the good part. i know this is for the best. we simply didnt work. we're two different kinds of people, looking for two different things. and i wish him the best of luck in finding someone that meets every one of his ridiculously high standards, that can keep the whole thing a secret, and know exactly when something he's doing something that pisses bob off and can stop immediately. everythings a secret with him, and when he's mad it all comes out in the wrong way at the wrong time. its all a big game, and eventually you're going to lose, because bob is always right and everyone else sucks. he even makes his parents lose. they do everything for him. and he just bitches at them. i dont understand it! its not normal!

and the worst part is- and i wish him all the luck with this -he's never going to face the fact that he is GAY and no matter how much he tells himself that he can hide it, and that he might be bi he's going to stay the same way. and his friends will only get more mad at him over time, becuase the longer you wait to tell someone something like that, the more mad they are at you when you finally tell them. he didnt have to face US, but he's going to have to face himself. and his friends are going to have to face that too. and his parents. its not something thats going to go away, it'll get worse over time. so bob, do yourself a favor and stop hiding. stop kidding yourself and being somebody you're not. if some of your friends dont like it, they're not really your friends. and thats part of life.

i debobified my music, almost all the stuff he downloaded. i kept a few songs that i liked, emotion is dead, silver and cold, some stuff by garbage. but the rest is cold dead garbage (pardon the pun..if that is counted as a pun) and i dont think i'll ever get into that kind of stuff.

this is going to sound desperate, but i really wish there were more nice guys out there that arent fucked up on drugs and fucked up otherwise. i wish i could find someone thats right for me.

anyway. tommorow eileen's picking me up at 9:45ish and a big group of us is going to go see King Arthur at solomon. i left my mom a note upstairs (after cleaning up the kitchen a bit for her) asking for a 20, which i deserved since i've let 3 paychecks go into the bank without asking for my 20%. (which is $20, if you didnt know. so by now i'd have $60) so i hope that works out. otherwise i dont think i'll go, because i'm so sick of not having money and other people paying for me. as much as they dont care, and i know i wouldnt care either, it just makes me feel so horrible inside.

so anyway i'm pretty miserable tonight, not because of bob really but because of the mood it puts me in to talk to him. but i wont have to deal with that again. i'll find someone better, i deserve someone better.

my throat is still being mean but its not really as bad. webmd tells me to gargle hot salt water once every few hours, and thats what im gonna do. bah-leerg.

so its been a long day. sleep tight, chillunz

its a bittersweet symphony, this life

2004-07-06T19:35:00.000-04:00

trynna make ends meet, trynna find some money then you die
i'll take you down the only road i never been down
you know the one that takes you to the places where all the things meet yea

<3 bittersweet symphony by the verve. awesome song.

so i redesigned today..and i like it..and it looks good...but i'm having second thoughts about using blogger. i went back to xanga for a bit today, and i discovered some very cool blogrings, and some amazingly designed journals.

i really love blogger, its easy and you can change everything around...but there are no blog rings, private entries, etc. bah! i cant find the perfect blog site.

so the songs of today are broken by seether/amy lee and bittersweet symphony.

gah i feel like crap. my throat still hurts and stuff....urg. tommorow it looks like i'm going out to king arthur with sarah and a bunch of people. :)

i sent out a GSA newsletter today, besides that i really didnt do much. i slept really late, after last nights late night level editing.

i'll come back later, im just gonna check out xanga really quickly.

set me free, your heaven's a lie

2004-07-05T23:35:00.000-04:00

<33333333 heavens a lie

Thirteen random things you like:

-my friends
-the OC
-fudgicles
-fireworks
-zelda
-lirael
-AIM
-bois
-my new shirt a la mel & janine
-chinese food
-sexy little panda bears
-"dare you to move" by switchfoot
-your mother

Twelve movies:

-crouching tiger hidden dragon
-kill bill
-matrix
-scary movie
-spiderman
-harry potter
-digimon!
-office space
-tomb raider
-aladdin
-the ring
-charlies angels

Eleven good bands/artists:

-linkin park
-yellowcard
-story of the year
-the black eyed peas
-switchfoot
-lost prophets
-evanescence
-vanessa carlton
-michelle branch
-blink-182
-avril

Ten good songs:

-dedicated by linkin park
-come clean by hillary duff
-dare you to move by switchfoot*****
-only one by yellowcard
-i miss you by blink
-take me away by lifehouse
-into dust by mazzy star
-this i promise you by *NSYNC
-god is a DJ by p!nk
-white flag by dido (and a million others)

Nine things about you... physically:

-i have hazel eyes
-i'm 5'8"
-my hair is short and not green anymore
-no braces
-i have a 10 size shoe
-i have a slight tan on like my arms
-my toe just stung for some reason
-my nails are trimmed
-i have a big hot --- coffee...

Eight favorite foods/drinks:

-ANYTHING chinese. orange chicken, teriyaki, fried rice...<3333
-chicken
-bread and butter
-mint pattie ice cream from BO :D
-fudgicles
-gatorade
-sierra mist
-orange soda

Seven things you wear daily:

-some kind of shirt
-some kind of pants/shorts that match the shirt
-some arrangement of sex bracelets that match those
-some kind of necklace that matches those
-socks
-some kind of "undergarment" :P
-ummm...shoes?

Six things that annoy you:

-people who never shut up
-pEoPlE dAt TyPe LyK dIs
-stupid people
-being left out of things
-computer crashing
-a certain someone

Five things you touch everyday:

-the computer
-food
-my lightswitches
-your mother
-water

Four shows you watch:

-the OC
-simpsons
-family guy
-south park

Three celebrities that are cool:

-mike shinoda
-angelina jolie (lara croft to be specific)
-benjamin mckenzie

Two people on lj that you have kissed:

-i can only think of one, who will remain unlisted
-your mother

One person you could spend the rest of your life with:

-your mother (sorry couldnt pick only one :-/)

===================================================

24 oceans
24 skies
24 failures
and 24 tries
24 finds me
in 24th place
with 24 dropouts
at the end of the day
life is not what i thought it was
24 hours ago
still i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you
and i'm not who i thought i was
24 hours ago
still i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you

theres 24 reasons
to admit that i'm wrong
with all my excuses
still 24 strong

you see i'm not copping out, not copping out, not copping out
when you're raising the dead in me

oh, oh, i am the second man
oh, oh, i am the second man now
oh, i am the second man now
and you're raising these 24 voices
with 24 hearts
and all of my symphonies
in 24 parts

but i wanna be one today
centered and true
i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you
you're raising the dead in me
oh, oh, i am the second man
oh, oh, i am the second man now
oh, i am the second man now
and you're raising the dead in me
yea...yea...

i wanna see miracles, to see the world change
i wrestled the angel for more than a name
for more than a feeling, for more than a cause
i'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you!
and you're raising the dead in me

24 oceans
24 hearts
all of my symphonies
in 24 parts
life is not what i thought it was
24 hours ago
still i'm singin spirit take me up in arms!

i'm not copping out, not copping out
not, not copping out!

(24 by switchfoot)

===================================================

i love that song. and that quiz. they're both like sex! not that i would know but hey.

anyway today sucked up until em and joe came over :) it didnt suck all day..but it was like everyone was here all day. john slept over again tonight.

so em and i were talking and we really wanted to hang out, so she got a ride over and we hung out and played scattergories with john, then john left and joe came and we played mario party.

sorry about the lack of detail, my throat is driving me crazy and its sooo hard to concentrate. i'm gonna go find some like tylenol or something.

===================================================

watching the world fall on you
i'm keeping my eyes closed
now i can see what this means to you
it meant nothing to me

this wasted so many nights and again
i've wasted so much time on a friend
too young too proud to understand
so this is the end!

perfect timing for you!
so hers my reminder of you!
it meant nothing to me!

(razorblades by story of the year)

paint it paint it, paint it black

2004-07-05T17:28:00.000-04:00

AHHHHHHHHH so like everyone is here and its like jesus christ people find somewhere to go! i thought i was going out today but i guess not. i think jack gets home at 5 or something, if she worked today. i dont know.

so i get up and surprise, everyone in the house (including john, who slept over) is hanging around upstairs. i dont get what the hell karl is doing home. he's supposed to work, its a WORK DAY. ughhhhadlkfjslk. john katie and i played mario party later, and katie was all pissed because she thought she would win but she lost. so she left, then john and i played perfect dark. then he and katie went in the pool and i talked to nathan for a bit. i went up to visit them in the pool and they were all bitchy about how i should go in the pool, and i was like jesus christ i think i'm sick its a crappy day out and the pool isnt as warm as normal, leave me alone i dont want to go in the fucking pool. so then i go inside and SURPRISE karl and kasey are like watching me. and michelle is watching TV. its like come on find something to DO get out of the house.

my throat is killing me. the usual thing....i hate it. its supposed to be crappy out most of this week. i really just want to get out of here and like do something with em and the cains. joe's working unfortunately :/

oh and eileen came over today...

i'd sent her the invitation and the uninvitation, then sarah told me i'd got her email wrong, that it was a 6 on the end not a 5. sarah had fwd'ed the invitation, but not the uninvitation, so eileen thought the party was still today..so she showed up at like 1 with a present and everything. i felt sooo bad omg. but she didnt care, its no big deal. she got me this cute little toad barn thing, hehe i loved it. it was nice of her, and she really didnt have to get me anything, since we're not too close but it was a nice thought. :) eileen is sooo nice!

so i'm kinda glad the party turned out to not be today. today is crap out, and i feel the same. i really needta see em..she needs to get home already.

ugh i need private posting features on this thing, i have other things to write about. blah!

ok thats enough for now, bye

i'm gonna shake up the system

2004-07-05T00:14:00.000-04:00

ohhhhh good song! (die another day) so, my day, from start to finish, with only certain details left out.

10:00 - alarm goes off "lets get retarded" by the black eyed peas. i decide to reset it to 10:40, then i try to go back to bed, but my mom knocks like minutes later, quietly and im like mehh and shes like you should get up soon, people are coming at noon and i want to cut your hair. so i go upstairs, cross the kitchen in my "hair ware" (basically crappy old clothes i dont mind getting hairy) and michelle goes "whoa" and i'm like FUCK YOU BITCH. then i go in my moms room and surprise! karl is there too. its like jeez does everyone have to see me looking so skanky? so then i wait for my mom and she cut my hair. it doesnt look too bad, its really short though. bob would cry. too bad... theres a bit o' green left, but i'm going to highlight it pretty soon anyway, it'll look fine. so then karl put me to work husking corn, moving things around, and unwrapping things. a certain someone came over *hyperventilates* and then after a while i hung out with katie and keri. then at some point i checked AIM, and ian had a message up that said something about that he had nothing to do today, yet again. so i left him a message saying he was welcome to come over and party with us. gave him address and phone #, then waited for lyd and janine, who arrived shortly thereafter. always wanted to use THAT in a sentence.

so my mom invited diane mattuck, and eileen (her daughter, freshman at TRHS) obviously didnt really want to come. that or she was just naturally quiet. but when lyd and janine got here we offered to play pictionary with michelle and her. so we went upstairs and played, and i got black eyed peas and switchfoot burning down here so we'd have something to listen to. i <3 those bands. so that was a fun game, some tough ones but we lived. then michelles cousin kristin came in for the last few rounds, and after that michelle and her went into the pool. janine brought my present up when we got scattergories, and its AWESOME. they kept being all "if you dont like it, blame lyd" but i LOVED IT. janine had drawn matt from digimon (who i love, btw) and it looked awesome :) and they got me all different color sex bracelets, and a hot topic shirt that reads "sorry, i dont do girls" i'm like OH EM GEE hehehe. it'll be fun. i cant wear it too often, cuz people would be freaky about it, but i'll def. wear it when i can. it might help me sometime :)

i'm def. wearing it to six flags on september 19th, which we are SO going to!

so then we played a few rounds o' scattergories, and then waited downstairs for ian, who came shortly thereafter :D oh and btw, he called during scattergories. that might clear up the confusino lol. yes, confusino..i dont feel like fixing it. shut up its 12:24 bitch!

yay right thurr is playing.

ANYWAY BACK TO MY STORY. so we all changed, and went in the pool. it was freakin' 86 and good times. there was alot of drowning each other (which was good times) and splashing and stuff. <333 janine lyd and pinky!

btw people call ian pinky because his hair used to be pink. he did all colros too, but he doesnt do that anymore. ah well! but em calls him beefy, and i still have yet to find out why o_O

so we called jack at some point during the madness, and jane cain answered and was like "IM ON MY WAY!!!" and i was like WO! (ohhh mya :p) but then we cleared up that i wasnt jackie, mad that i wasnt picked up yet. lol. so then i arranged for jack to call me back, and she did...

...

shortly thereafter.

sorry had to say it! :P so we arranged that matt would pick us up at quote: "5 5:30 kinda ish" ohh good times!

we stayed in the pool well past 5, and we were like yea we'll go in in a few minutes..few more minutes...lol. then karl was like MAHHH (hehe stamps fist lyd) EAT SOME FOOD!!! btw karl was being bitchy all day, esp when we were helping set stuff up. he was like you cant stay hungry ALL DAY! and i was like watch me bitch. but after we got out i had 2 hotdogs and a fudgicle. im gonna get another one when this entry ends.

my mom said before we left that she wanted me home by midnight. more on that later.

so matt picked us up at like 6:15...lol...and we got there and just kinda hung out for a while. matt had sears trading cards, which turned out to be coupons. then we ended up upstairs watching aladdin and a crazy panda/crazy cat doing dances. we were all like awww i <3333 aladdin. and who doesnt? it was good times. then we went downstairs and ate stuff, before joe showed up. so get this- matt drove ian, lyd, janine and i, and joe drove jack. joe later told me they were like "ok everyone hates us..." but i really didnt want to leave lyd and janine alone with either driver, and lets face it...ian with jack? not happening :p so sorry guys, lol. then after some confusion, we ended up at the fireworks. i talked to nathan for a while, well actually everyone did but i talked to him most :) he's gonna call me when he gets the new phone cards, and he said he mailed like 4 notes. i was like omg i love you nate. he needs to get home!

the fireworks were freakin' loud but they were really short. so like 15 minutes later we left, deciding to go to wendys. i went with ian and matt, and we saw a bumper sticker that read "kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken" and it was funny. i told ian i'd remember it for him. its going in his info, yo! but after driving through white city, we decided to go back through white city and to friendlys, cuz it was open. i got a mud pie madness, as usual. good times!

oh, and matt said the best thing EVER.

"crack's the quiet one liner type...he'll stay quiet for a few minutes, then come up with a great one liner. and its beautiful." i was like awww thanks lol. i'm not really that quiet, at least i wasnt this time. but still, he hit the nail right on the head. god dammit i hate that phrase. i vow never to use it again. anyway. that was fun! then we were just hanging around for a while, before we decided that friendlys needed us to leave. so we went and hung out and decided who would drive who. ended up matt and jack taking lyd and janine, and joe taking ian and i. otherwise nobody would make their curfew pretty much. so partway through the ride joe asked me if i wanted to come for the ride, and of course i did :) we had to drop ian in clinton. joe sang "rainbow connection" during the way there, it was just BEAUTIFUL joe :D

then we dropped him off, and all the things she said came on. which is extreemlly ironic but i cant tell you why. god i was surprised to hear that song. i loooveee it. so joe and i both sang it. then die another day came on, and i love that too so we sang it.

then we had a discussion about something hehe. it was funny.

then joe got me home - get this - EXACTLY at midnight. like his clock said 0:00 cuz its military and ghetto, and the clock inside said 12:00. i was like joe you're amazing. lol.

so i peed and used proactiv, and now here i am, 40 minutes later, typing an entry for my journal..oh what a loser i am! so i'll probly change and go right to bed, i'm exhausted. it was quite a day.

jack and matt want to do somethin with me tommorow, and em is coming home.

i'd love to have ian and em over to swim this week, we'd been talking about that for a while but haven't done it yet.

so i have a feeling its gonna be a busy week. i'm really afraid that people might not have got my uninvitation (my party was cancelled, FYI) and might just show up tommorow and noon and i'll probly be asleep and they'll be like WTF. lol. i know kelly didnt know until a bit ago.

bah its my dads weekend! i dont mean that in a bad way, i mean i love going over there, but last time was kinda ehhh..everything got kinda effed up (at least for katie) and nathan was uncontrollable. screaming all the time. god i felt so bad for them. hopefully this time will be better.

so this friday will be the 2-week anniversary of using proactiv. and i've been good about it, only missed 2 applications and thats not bad. esp when added that i havent missed the other 26. i really hope it works, most people see changes after 2-3 weeks. i'm willing to wait all summer, i just want to look good again for school and stuff. for obvious reasons, eh?

anyway you probly didnt need to hear that..but i talk about nearly everything in here. nearly everything.

so today was awesome. i love all of you. joe, jack, matt, ian, lyd, janine...you guys made my day. thank you.

and i hope everyone else had a great fourth of july as well.

love always,

<3 cracktastic

everybody, get into it, get STOOPID!

2004-07-03T20:00:00.000-04:00

so i've declared my eternal love for the black eyed peas. this is their 4th single i've fallen in love with, and i'm now listening to the rest of the cd. they have a lot of good stuff!

today at work was blahhh... that place really goes to crap during the week, when i'm not there. nobody emptied out the juice things all week so when i got there it was overflowing all over the place. (you know, the little containers under the juice spout, so if people spill some it goes into that) and it had obviously been there for days, since it shredded my napkins even when i put lysol and stuff on it. everyone leaves their crap everyhwere and i hate it..lol

i <3 kelly, laurie, and that new girl whose name i'm not sure of. she's relaly nice :)

jamie wasnt too psyched today when i asked to take tommorow off...i mean i figured it wouldnt even be open! who goes to a furniture store on the 4th of july??!?!?! bah! but i said i'd make extra cookies in the boxes, and everything is wicked stocked up, so he said it'd be fine. and i'm glad :)

so i'm hungry. i'm gonna go eat somethin, maybe i'll write later. i <333333333 the black eyed peas! and YOU!

tell me, why you love me like that?

2004-07-03T00:56:00.000-04:00

perfect song for one of my current situations. some of you will know it...look into the lyrics. also, us against the world. has double meanings as far as the same situation.

but i will write no more ;)

so i apologize for freaking out on all of you in the last entry. i just needed to blow up at them, lol. but i meant every word. they really do drive a person crazy...

ANYWAY. today was fun after all :) vanessa came over at like 10 past 3 and we waited around for joe and jack. joe had a fun story for us :D so we went downstairs and for a while it was just talking, but then we started playing mario party. i won :D wooo!! jack found out she really has no mario party skills, unfortunately. but that's def a fun game, and i bet we'll play it at the next party we have over here. i <3 mario party muchly. then we played a bit o' pictionary, and joe/jack kicked vanessa/i's ass. i'm really no good at pictionary most of the time, lol. we didnt do too bad, we were right behind them when 6'oclock came around. then vanessa got picked up, and em went online so we talked to her. we ended up picking her up, and kaylee (her niece, for those of you crazy mofos that didnt know that) had to come with us cuz she needed to be babysat. that makes sense right? is babysat a word? i dont know. sit sat. babysit babysat. ANYWAY. kay was all dressed up and stuff, because she thought matt was coming. more on that later!

so we decided on TGI fridays, and katie (not even going to TRY to spell her last name) sat us. i remember the time she worked at bertuccis and we kept trying to call her but she kept walking right by. lol twas funny. that was my initiation! dont worry no hazing was involved :D that was fun times, i miss that stuff from last summer. this summer just started though, there's still 2 months left.

anyway we all ordered, i believe everyone but jack and i got chicken fingers, jack got some chicken thing and i got garlic chicken. kay got a shirley temple, hahaha...thats so classic. she also got an oreo madness (maggots, mangoes, magnets??!?!?! MADNESS!! hehe good times) dessert thing. we all had a little of it. i love when joe tries to feed people lol. anyway that was good, 'cept i felt horrible cuz i only had $3 with me. they never seem to care, but i hate that. i wish my mom had been home before, so i could have had her take money out of my account and give me cash lol. that's what we usually do. but now i have stuff going in through direct deposit and i have my ATM card, she just needs to teach me how to use it. then i'll never be broke :) and im def. gonna treat all those guys some time :)

so then we went back to ems, and em introduced us to her new car, which jack quickly named "diane" and i thought somethin was kinda funny..it was an oldsmobile ciera SL, so i was like diane TUciera....haha diane tucceri...you get it. :p well if you go to tahanto you do anyway. but i didnt make that comment. then kay was driving us all (esp em) insane, and after playing tic tac toe with each of us she decided she wanted to throw dirt all over joe, who wasted no time in getting her back. then kay went inside and we were talking for a few. em went in and then we followed and tried to decide what we were gonna do.

our options were:
1)all go home
2)wait for matt to get home from work and go to fireworks, since joe was going out with james at 10
3)i dont know

and we decided on going to fireworks on sunday instead (holy shit i just looked at my watch and it said saturday, and i didnt realize it was 1AM so i was like SHIT I MISSED WORK TODAY but i didnt..lol) which is tomorow. and im like yay :)

so then we dropped off jack, and joe asked if i wanted to go to the movie. we figured jack wouldnt like it. plus, she gets to go to spiderman 2 with randy johnson (hahahaha poor girl) tommorow morning. party hard! so i was like sure what the hell. we picked up james, then went to the movie.

watched the movie. and now here i am! the movie was good times. have i mentioned lately how much i love my friends?

oh and jack posted our photobooth pics, i forgot to write about that. while we were still at the mall, we went to a photobooth and all managed to fit in there, and we did 4 poses. smile, tongue, bunny ears, and everybody kiss kaylee. then we did like a brady bunch thing, lol it was funny. i'll post a link to the scanned pics tommorow, but i'm too lazy now. i'm so tired. i have to get up in 6.75 hours for work. i really dont want to work tommorow.

hmm...whats going on tommorow as far as work? that was a stupid question now that i think about it. i dont think it'll be open. lol. i'll go check the site, then go to bed.

like good little boys. night!

cuz it feels so empty, without me

2004-07-02T13:49:00.000-04:00

anyone want to adopt me for a while? i really cant stand my family anymore. would it feel empty without me here? i know katie and my mom would be upset. kasey would be bored. but ir eally cant take it anymore. everyone is always hanging around here. karl is always home. he needs to go to WORK! jesus christ. its always "oh karl is tired becuase he's working all the time" but how can he work when he's always HANGING AROUND THE GOD DAMN HOUSE, taking up the phone, the sink, the shower, the internet, whatever seems to be most important at the time. and hes' fuckign annoying and making these god damn lame comments and yu just want to STRANGLE HIM. the 3 of them were up there when i was trying to make mac and cheese, and they were just hanging around yelling at each other and i was like glaring at the microwave, as if it got me into this mess. i thoguht the house was friggen empty when i got there,m but there goes the freakin' party van and michelel and karl start hanging around. as if kasey wants being annoying enough.

whats worse, the mac and cheese came out horrible. the original kind is just gross, i can only eat spirals or spongebob now. i've found there IS different cheese, plus orignal just SUCKS. so here i am with a gross bowl of mac and cheese, waiting for karl to stop hanging around in there so i can go dump it out. and wash out my freaking bowl and big spoon thing. because he had to take up the sink for like 10 minutes cooling down the stew. at the least convienient time. and he was standing there whistling out of tune in his boxers. which is fucking disgusting because he really needs to shave his back or something. my god.

i hate this family, its so fucked up. i wish karl had got that business where he had to go on a business trip like half the month or whatever. i know that sounds mean, and half of you think i'm some sadistic fuck, but you dont live with them. they would drive you crazy too. i cant even think about this right now. joe, jack, and vanessa are coming over in an hour. hopefully the house will be empty, and this mac and cehese will have been disposed of by them.

in my rage, i forgot to call em back..i was gonna leave a funny message.

i called up and the message was hey you've reached {their number here, im not putting it online} we're not here right now etc. press *1 if you want to leave a message for cecil or eloise, *2 for brandi or kaylee, or *3 for emily or talula. (talula is ems cat, for those of you who dont know) and i was gonna call back and say "hey talula...still wanna go see that movie tonight? what, your new catfood is no good? awww thats no fun! well, call me back!" and then be like "actually. i'm not calling for talula! its crack for em. call me back." lol.... i'm so witty

but in my rage, i forgot to get the phone...well i'll go do that in a few.

just give me a sign, say anything say anything...

oh i miss my GC days.

people really need to stop walking back and forth upstairs. its so annoying. it wakes me up every morning. footsteps going that way, the other way, everywhere. it doesnt stop. it keeps going. and i'm like oh my goodness i'm going to go knock that person out. and it also signifies that people are hanging around the house and i hate that. i wish it was 3 lol, i really need my friends. *sigh*

please dont walk away, i know you wanna stay, just give me a sign, say anything say anything

i'm fallin, i'm fallin, i'm fallin down...
i'm fallin, i'm fallin, i'm fallin down...
down, Down, DOWN!!!!!!!
dont say a word, i know you feel the same
just give me a sign, say anything say anything
pelase dont walk away, i know you wanna stay
just give me a sign, say anything say anything
pleeeeasee dont leave! say anything say anythign
pleseeeasee dont leave!! say anything say anything!

oh GC. <33333

this house has no freaking FOOD. i'm gonna go scout the premises, clean my bowl out thats up there, grab the phone, and if nobody is around, i'll bring my mac and cheese disaster up to the trash. then i'll come back and call em.

ttyl...

and i'd rather be in love...with you

2004-07-01T02:44:00.000-04:00

ohh michelle branch!

so i'm getting back into the tomb raider level editor. :) fo real this time, yo.

i'm sequeling my stunningly attractive (if i do say so myself) short level ta phrom.

haven't decided on a name yet..but here's some screenies. clickie go biggie!

lemme know if you like those :) and thats just the beginning too, the rest wont be as dark but it'll be even prettier.

i have some great ideas for this level...for instance the part i just finished. you slide down a waterfall which is INSIDE a tree! then you come out at the foot of the tree in a small pool of water. it looks awesome, but i still have a lot of work to do.

so anyway, its 2:46 now and i REALLY need to go to bed. i'm sooo tired! like nobodys BUSINESS. but i'm excited about the level and i dont really wanna sleep. bah!

i'm hoping em can still come over tommorow. it's looking like we cant drive her home, and i dont know whats going on with everything...and she hasn't been online...so i'll probly call her tommorow and see whats up.

lyd came over today and it was fun times! we watched kill bill 2, played a bit o' zelda and talked quite a bit. i loovveee lydia! :)

tommorow i wanna post a list of who is def. coming, def. not coming, or hasnt replied to my email yet as far as my party. cuz i wanna see it with my own two eyes. my eyes really hurt...

so i should go to bed...

and i'm gonna go do that. lemme know if you like those screens, peepz!

night ^_~

if you lose the moment, you might lose alot

2004-06-29T00:54:00.000-04:00

so why not? why not?

ohhhh hillary. that was why not by hillary duff. yay :)

now i'm playing take me away by avril. woop!

so tommrowo is going to be boring and evil. then wednesday lyd's coming over for rasbperry pepsi (assuming we still have any) perfect dark, ocarina, kill bill 2, pool, and whatever else. i had tried to call her but i think she went to bed..lol...

i cant handle this confusion i'm unable come and take me away...
(im going nowhere, on and on and i'm getting nowhere on and on and off and on and off and on)

yay avril!

so i did the party invite..i spose i should get to work on the music playlist. after all the party's a freakin week away.

oh and surprise! turns out bob is coming back for 3 weeks. i wish we could have known that before...but i suppose everything that happened was for the best. we'll see what happens now.

homeboy, i came to pa-tay, yo girl was lookin at me (OMG I DEF JUST TYPED "yo gorilla was lookin at me" ohh wow...it must be late. or early. anyway that was nothin by NORE.

i dont know why i'm just randomly typing you guys lyrics. i'm so giddy.

pardon me while i burst into flames...

i had a dream the other night that this ancient tribe was playing that song, or something. turns out it was playing on winamp, i woke up at the end up of the song. this right now is an acoustic version. its quite good. at the beginning, the singer is like if this sucks, dont blame us. haha.

an ominious landscape of never ending calamity...

so matt is talking to me and he just declared that we havent talked in ages. he's so right. thats kinda weird... :/ but he's gonna try to come to the party. just has to get off of work. :)

ohhh yea! so yesterday, so yesterday...
you can change your life, you can change your clothes
if you change your mind, thats the way it goes
but i'm gonna keep your jeans, and your black hat
they look good on me, you're never gonna get them back
at least not today, not today, not today, if its over let it go and
come tommorow it will seem, so yesterday, so yesterday
havent you heard that im gonna be ok?

yay hillary :)

ok thats enough song lyrics. lalala...lol as i sing. hmm...what to discuss?

something is giving me the feeling that things are changing. like over the past few months. i've gotten new friends, and things like that have switched around alot. i've changed alot too. i dunno, things are weird. i really dont know what to do now. i'm gonna have to discuss this with em and lyd when they come over. i'm excited for weds and thurs :) and then of course friday! woot woop!

so before when i told you guys about kel's site..i cant figure out whats wrong with it. i tried setting all the files again, and setting permissions and stuff. last thing i can do is delete it all and put it back up.

so i've decided i'm also inviting tex (travis for you non nicknamey people) sarah and eileen. cuz i love them all, but we didnt really talk that much.

allie, shaney, and nate cant come :-/ well i knew nate couldnt...but allie is away at the cape and shaney has a rehearsal. she said its a slim possibility she could still come.

oh yea and bob is coming back that day, so MAYBE he can come too.

i'm gonna email tex sarah and eileen, then probly read abhorsen for a bit, then go to bed. i need to finish abhorsen (i'm almost done) by wednesday so lyd can borrow it.

so anyway. if anyone wants to do soemthin tommorow, let me know :) gimme a call, 869-2244 and tell someone to wake me up if i'm asleep.

night all!

i'm taking over, so watch me shine!

2004-06-28T21:14:00.000-04:00

ohhhh vanessa carlton!!! <333

i love a bunch of her songs. pretty baby, watch me shine, 1000 miles, ordinary day, paint it black...she's got some great stuff.

so i had a really uneventful day.

OMG fuck. so you know how i had to change diaries becuase the old one wouldnt let me post anymore? surprise! kelly's is doing the same thing now. its like WTF. i didnt change anything on either site, and they just randomly decide to not work anymore. i'm gonna check some things and see if i cant figure out how to fix that.

then i'm gonna work on my main site.

you're still the only one...ohh lifehouse! :)

where you go when you're gone...

2004-06-28T12:21:00.000-04:00

oh michelle branchy! yay!

so i'm going to do song lyrics for my tittles, so if you know the song you'll know whats playing. yay for trivia!

i'm in a chat with lyd jack and em, 3 of my FAVORITE people, and were deciding on toasted cheese, a movie party, and my bday party.

we have come up with a good guest list:

em lyd jack nate matt vanessa nicole jill joe james shaney cav heather kelly allie ian taco

hm? good? mel and janine shall come too if we can have the party while they're here.

there are other people i thought of, but kinda disagreed about.

so em in the chat was just like JACK AND CRACK UPDATE YOUR JOURNALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i'm like em i AM updating my journal.

oh so em's gonna come over thursday, and lyd on wednesday, and both of them + jackie + vanessa if she can come for the movie par-tay. (on friday).

somebody make plans w/ me for tommorow :D

hmmmm so what else can i write about? i talked to lyd for like 45 minutes on the phone last night. after i FOUND the phone, which somebody had stuffed in the couch. and i couldnt hit page either cuz it might have woken up the parents and karl woudl hvave killed me. but i'd drag him down to hell first.

so i'm gonna send out an email letting people know about the party when i can decide on a day that works. this entry is so over

did i tell you that i love you, tonight?

2004-06-27T10:16:00.000-04:00

ohhhh oliver james. <333333

SO! i got a new theme, logon, and wallpaper last nihgt. AND a new sn and buddy icon! its all based off the best book EVER...which if you didnt know is lirael by garth nix.

its seriously amazing. phenomenal. you all should read it! i know lyd has :)

i'm debating whether i should put this new sn here or not.

hmmm... well if you haven't noticed, i unlinked firecircle and my secret one. i'm using icyembers to tell people the new one, then i will unlink it. and darkspark is posted all over the internet and i dont wanna go change it all so i'll use that. and JB needs something to talk to me with, since if i give him the new one who knows who would have it then?

and the secret one..it makes much more sense to sign off these ones and sign on that one. so those of you that know it, if you see me on that one...something bad is happening.

anyway, when i get home i might consider redesigning this place to match the blue/black theme of the rest of my comp...except i really like this theme...

we'll see! euhghhh i have to go to work. i bet nobody shows up today, and i just sit there reading. thats basically what happened yesterday, even though it was really crappy out. and nice out, in some parts.

jamie kept walking in and being like "the coffee is spectacular, the popcorn is wonderful, the cookies are amazing, you're doing a phenomenal job" and i was like WHOA i love you jamie. lol.

i also love kelly, amy, laurie, darrin, doug, and katrina. those are my fave employees there..theres some other good ones but not that good. i hate that mike deloyal guy. he never speaks to me and he like sneaks up behind you and its WICKED sketchy. you know when you're talking to yourself about something and you swear or say something stupid? and someones behind you and you're like gah i hope they werent listening. thats mike deloyal. plus he's pretty ugly. sorry dude! and i dont really like most of the warehouse guys either, they seem extremely druggy. i love mal though, she's wicked nice. haven't seen her in weeks.

so anyway thats my work rant. you people need to visit me today! but i know nobody can...lol. SIGH.

i'm gonna get dressed, change my mp3 player around, get ready to go...

ttyl

never watch salems lot...

2004-06-26T00:18:00.000-04:00

lol like seriously. i just watched it with katie and my dad (who slept like the whole time) and now i'm freakin PETRIFIED!

and the worst part is..the movie was horribly cheesy and bad acted. this is the new version i'm talking about, just came out this year. it was really crappy and had some seriously lame fx. bah!

i'm still scared though. it had some good suspens-ish scenes.

so eddy..yea i'm talking a REALLY painful death. like a fate worse than death and whatnot. like...you get tied to a tree with poisonous snakes and forced to watch my baby half brothers pottty training video and trampled with rabid racoons...that kind of death... :p

i'm gonna go to bed soon, i just wanted to make an entry. i'm also talking online and trying to wash out thoughts of creepy vampires and whatnot. my music isnt helping. lol...

i think i'm gonna read some journals. i really want a drink but not only will i have to go upstairs to get it, i'll have to go upstairs to pee. and thats 2 unneccesary trips upstairs.

anyway i'm needed elsewhere, ttyl

eughh.....

2004-06-25T14:26:00.000-04:00

bleerg...

i have to go to my dads in an hour. which is ok i guess, i just wish i had my fridays to myself. yunno? anyway......

the proactiv stuff came yesterday. i'll be looking AWESOME in a few weeks. then when my hair fades back to normal i'll do something really really cool with it, and in like august i'll be buying my own new clothes for fall. i'm excited!

unfortunatley, katie and i are arguing over the proactiv. i need it loads more than she does, and she has a ton of other crap she could be using. its so not fair, i wanted my own. it was my fucking idea. she jsut left it in the bathroom, i was like WTF if kasey and michelle find it...

it'll be ugly. i can just picture it now. UGHHSRES!!!

i just finished a wash and everything was WICKED hot when it came out. hotter than normal. hmm..

BAH anyway. work tommorow and sunday...10-6, 12-5. COME VISIT ME OR DIE DIE DIE A PAINFUL DEATH!

i will love you foreer and a day if you come.

i think i'm gonna play some zelda. i'll get packin' at like 3.

ttyl, if you need me i'll be on AIM tonight/tommorow night probly

shut up, just shut up, shut up

2004-06-24T18:56:00.000-04:00

awesome song.

anyway. needless to say, today didnt go so well. bill was all over the whole "i wont be an ass next time we hang out" last time i talked to him, but i guess he forgot about that. i was extremely pissed when i got sprayed 40 times in the eyes with a freaking watergun. i mean its all fun and shit until someone gets mad. then on came the "liberal teenagers" rants. god he goes on FOREVER about exactly how liberal teenagers act and that they're all the same. its like jesus christ bill you know TWO people, dan and i, that act like that. and you can assume that all the rest of your friends are conservative. but i'm sick of ranting and i just want to talk about something better. well dont get the wrong idea, its not like anything BAD happened today. i mean it was fun. but i hate bill. he's funny as hell, but i hate him.

karl is home now :/ why couldnt he just stay in cleveland? everything was fine while he was gone, now he's going to be hanging around all the friggen time. *sigh*

so this week...i would love to do somethin with em, i'll probly ask her when we have a talk tonight. lyd is gonna come over for raspberry pepsi and PD. and the pool!

i wanna book up my week so if anyone else wants to do anything...ASK! :)

so my dad took katie and i out tonight. and he's gonna get us tommorow like afternoon for the weekend. i'll be back sunday after work. hmmm.... what else can i write about...

so much to say but i cant say it here. i made the linsk to previous posts smaller so the words all fit now. lol... i'm gonna play some PD before katie comes down. katie and dan are going out now :) i'm happy for them!

die young and save yourself

2004-06-24T10:52:00.000-04:00

ohhhh brand new. so i left my playlist of those 5 songs on last night and some of them are getting into the VERY HIGH NUMBERS of play count. i love play count. except theres some really really random songs that are very high in play count and i dont know why. "i'll be" by edwin mccain has been played 122 times. i dont particularly LOVE that song...i mean its good but its not so good that i'd make it its own playlist and play it over and over like i'm doing with these.

but the most popular song according to winamp is blind tiger. that songs on the animatrix soundtrack..very nice chillout shiz. its been played over 700 times and counting. i def. just typed ocunting... *sigh*

then, the outsider and i dare you to move are tied at 180, the rest of the songs on the playlist are like 120, 100, and 80 or something.

OH! and speaking of which. i wanna post my winamp playlist on the left column. well a link to it anyway. its quite long...actually i might get some more stuff to add to it first. hmm...

ANYWAY. today is bobs birthday. happy birthday bob! he's having some kind of party but he hasnt been aroudn in a while so i cant ask him when i should go...but it seems like jill will be there. and that might be awkward with a capital A if what bob tells me is true.

damn you ben...

ANYWAY. i beat ocarina last night! well i beat ganon anyway. theres a million other things i can do. one more bottle = finding two more poes. 50 more skulltulas. i got half of them, i dont really want to start searching for the rest cuz the 200 ruppee prize SUCKS. i always have 500 in my wallet lol. if it was like 5 heart containers i'd be all over it. oh and speaking of which - 14/15 more heart pieces (i think i have 1 or 2 right now) for the last 4 heart containers. umm...lots of mini games i can play and advance my weapons and stuff. i need the golden scale, the sinking lure...

its a HUGEASS GAME. i bet i'll never really finish it. you cant! theres way too many hidden things. but thats basically all i know i need to do.

so i just added the game by trapt to the playlist. it doesnt match the theme of the playlist...which is SOMETHING im not going to tell you...but it kinda does in a different way.

i wanna quote promise in my info. it is perfection. the best song for the situation at hand.

i'm gonna go take a shower and eat, just in case bob calls and is like we're picking you up in 10 seconds lol. which i know he wont, but still....

ttyl

good times :)

2004-06-23T17:10:00.000-04:00

so i had vanessa over today. she came at like 11 and we watched kill bill, then talked for a while. kasey came in and said some funny stuff...lol...

hang on i wanna go get like ice cream or something lol. i just had mac + cheese and that really didnt satisfy me. brb...

mmmmm i LOVE vanilla w/ little pieces of chips ahoy. my own idea :) its like chocolate chip cookie dough without the chips and with crunchy cookieness. GOOD TIMES. :)

anyway where was i? right so we watched kill bill, then we just sat and talked for a while, about like family stuff and relationships and whatnot. kasey walked in without a shirt on and was like "oh.............hey vanessa........maybe i should go put a shirt on" it was so funny lol. so then he comes back with his shirt on and says like 3 words. and we just laugh when he leaves :p

i made us some popcorn and we got stuff to drink and came back down and talked again. then at like 3:30 kasey came in and said, oh so memorably...

"if you guys want to go in the pool i'll watch"

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh the funniness!!!! ohhh the dirtiness!!!!!!!! lol...

so we went in the pool a bit, then my mom gave her a ride home.

it was good times! we never really got to hang out before and i'm glad we did :)

next week i wanna have a movie/cranium party over here and we can play like mario party and stuff. i love mario party lol.

so speaking of N64 games...

GUESS WHO BEAT THE SPIRIT TEMPLE LAST NIGHT!!?!?!?! thats right...ME!

i finished the water temple, started the shadow temple, FINSIHED it, started the spirit temple..then FINISHED THAT. the last two temples were alot easier than i was expecting, after the water temple. its not that its HARD, but it was long and tedious.

so what i'om doing now is finding the special poes so i can get another bottle, then i'm going to get 5 more pieces of heart (i have like 16 hearts and i want at least 18 and 4 fairies in bottles before i go to ganons castle) and in order to get one of them i need 2 more skulltulas. easy as pie! cept the poes will take a while to find. meh i dont like those lol. i'm really hoping lyd will go online so i can brag to her about how i'm that much further than her in the game :p

i dare you to move!
i dare you to move!
i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor!
i dare you to move!
i dare you to move!
like today never happened, today never happened, before

ok thats enough. i quote that song WAY too much...its that good though.

anyway i'm gonna play some zelda, ttyl

tidal waves they rip right through me

2004-06-22T00:33:00.000-04:00

oh blink. how i love thee. i love down by them. its awesome.

my current playlist, not the happiest one ever. some songs i love and stuff i'm in the mood for.

blink182 - down
blink182 - i miss you
matchbook romance - promise
switchfoot - dare you to move
brand new - sic transit gloria...glory fades

i dunno its been a really rough two days. i've been through all emotions, and all i can muster now is regret. i need to think everything over again, when there is nobody trying to talk to me and i dont have kasey at the door yakking or i'm getting distracted by anything.

hold on i need to quote this

=================================

welcome to the planet
welcome to existence
everyones here, everyones here
everybodys watching you now
everybody waits for you now
what happens next? what happens next?

i dare you to move
i dare you to move
i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
i dare you to move
i dare you to move
like today never happened, today never happened before

welcome to the fallout
welcome to resistance
the tension is here
the tension is here
between who you are and who you could be
between how it is and how it should be

i dare you to move
i dare you to move
i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
i dare you to move
i dare you to move
like today never happened, today never happened

maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is back where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself?
where ya gonna go? where ya gonna go?
salvation is here

i dare you to move
i dare you to move
i dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
i dare you to move!
i dare you to move!
like today never happened, today never happened
today never happened, today never happened before

=================================

that is the best song ever.

anyway where was i? i'm glad i kept what happened last night mostly to myself and now that things are somewhat resolved i dont have to talk to a bunch of people about it. and i'm defenitely not going to write it in here, even if i could figure out how to do a friends only.

so i know who fuxor is. he made a mistake, and i seriously suggest he stop posting here. you have made it totally obvious to me who you are, and if you think you'll get away with posting more stuff, you're wrong. people are getting in trouble for harassing a certain other someone in a certain other shoutbox. like serious trouble, i'm not kidding. i know you're not that bad of a person, so i urge you to stop posting. find something better to do than read my journal.

anyway thats one issue. thers one big one and then some smaller stuff going on besides

so on to happier things! tommorow i might be going to a museum in boston (i dont know which one, but i LOVE the science museum..hope its that one) with em, nate and the seilers. ohh the seilers..but nate and em will more than make up for it lol. i dunno if i can go though. i mean i'd have to be home by like 4 so i can go out with my dad. eh... so were going to see when what is happening, and if i'll be back by then.

so talking serious with someone really makes me want to stop writing. i cant anyway. not only am i not in the mood, i need to concentrate fully on whats going on. i'll write a better entry soon. i might even have to delete this one, its weird and cryptic.

it would be nice...

2004-06-20T17:35:00.000-04:00

OMG you all need to listen to the blowjob song by blink. its funny as hell. they have another song you should all get too but i'm afraid small children might read this.

have i mentioend lately how much i love blink? i miss you, down, the BJ song, and one of their others are very very good songs. not to mention classics such as all the small things.

hey fuxor...i hope you realize you're hopelessly outnumbered. nobody cares what you have to say :p

so my workday basically sucked ass. a bunch of messy people..jesus some of the kids were cleaner than some of the adults. it was horrifying! but not TOO too busy.

anyway i'm not going to write about that. i'm gonna go call my dad, brb.

yay :) i feel like such a good son, calling to wish him a happy fathers day.

say it aint so, i will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home

ohhhhh blink!

*sigh* overall today was good. i'm rambling...

so! hugeass party for me and michelle coming up. lotsa people LOTSA people.

OMG now i'm talking to teresa and i miss her already. i might never see her for a LONG TIME. i wish we could all do something tommorow but thats doubtful.

so tuesday my dad is taking katie and i out. lyd and nate wont be around all week, so i wont be conquering boylston any time soon. i wanna have a cranium party!!! *pouts*

if anyone wants to come over and swim this week, you're more than welcome. i know em ian and i had talked about doing a pool party. i vote yes! lol if em was around i'd talk to her :p and ian's either signed off or away. i just noticed that ian and bob have similar away habits..the whole runon sentence of who/what or lyrics that nobody gets. haha!

anyway this is just ramblage and nobody will want to comment :p i'll write something meaningfui later

plus its dinner..so bye!

its amazing how moods change

2004-06-19T18:10:00.000-04:00

so i was like the happiest thing ever a few minutes ago, then i was like dead low, and now i'm so-so.

but a few thoughts....

life is so fucking unfair. rules are so fucking unfair. this feeling of secondbest is so fucking unfair. but i cant compete, i can only wait.

why am i writing this? nobodys going to get what i mean...

well i'm going to eat, and either swim with like kasey or katie or maybe play ocarina. watch a movie or something. i lose.

i dont get why i play the same game EVERY effing TIME. then things change and it all goes away, and the cycle starts anew.

i'm done writing about this for now, because i keep saying the same thing and its goign to keep happening so its something i'll have to deal with.

so monday lyd's coming over to swim and watch kill bill 2. at some point this week i'm gonna do something with vanessa cuz we never get to hang out. tuesday i have something in mind, but i doubt that'll work out, for reasons obvious in my own mind. friday i'd like to do something fun.

teresa is leaving in 3 days!! NOOO!!!! i wanna see her before then. :)

bye

there will be no white flag above my door

2004-06-19T17:41:00.000-04:00

ohhhh dido. thank you for your music!

this song had me sooooo sad like 2 weeks ago. the meanings were so deep and when i realized it i was really really upset. but thats over now and i love this song again.

mmmmmmm so i'm STARVING and i should be eating and not updating...but yea. i'm mostly waiting for bob to get back online so we can make plans.

work was slow today. nobody visited me... but i got to leave an hour early..and on a saturday thats a hugeass bonus, since its 8 hours of nothingness and boringity. i just made that word up, boringness sounds stupid. so boringity it is!

OMG two songs later...one of my fave songs of the moment..sic transit gloria

she hits the lights (this doesnt seem quite fair)
despite everything he learned from his friends he doesnt feel so prepared
she's breathing quiet and smooth (he's gasping for air)
this is the first and last time he says
she fakes a smile and presses her hips into his
he keeps his hands pinned down at his sides
he's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels..like
he is a lamb, she is the slaughter
she's movin really fast and all he wanted was to hold her
nothin that he touches really having an effect
he whispers that he loves her but she's probly only lookin for s....
(up the stairs the station where the act becomes the art of growing up)

i LOVE that song. that, on fire, tuesday morning, and dare you to move are my current favorites. lots of hidden meanings i have figured out. esp in on fire.

DIE YOUNG AND SAVE YOURSELF!

quizzie, stole from lyd, stole from jack

2004-06-18T11:49:00.000-04:00

Let the insanity begin
What is your first name backward?: Kcarc
How tall are you?: 5'8" ish
What color are your socks right now?: n/a
Does your Mom have any siblings?: a sister and a gay brother. YAY.
Have you ever played the piano?: not well i havent
How old will you be in 17 years?: 32.
Who was the last person you said "Fuck" to?: problably muttered it somewhere
Do you have braces?: nope
Do you have retainers?: nope
Do you have your virginity?: *tries to think of witty comment and fails* yes...
Name your 3 closest friends.: 3?! 3!? NOO!! more than 3. right now my closest..dont be offended if youre just "close"...probably bob, em, lyd, nate, and jack. again no offense to my "close friends"
What's your favorite style of music?: everything. everything from manson to michelle branch, from adema to yellowcard. from linkin park to avril lavigne. except country/classic rock.
How many windows are in the room you're in?: none
How many pillows are in the room you're in?: one
How many other people are in the room you're in?: one
Is the TV on?: nope, will be soon though
If it's on, what's on it?: that show where it just stays blank...oh wait its OFF
Do you have a camera?: i think katie stole it
What's the last thing you wrote on a Post-It?: oh jeez i dont remember that!
What is currently atop your head?: my green hair...ohhh hot topic!

Are you afraid of...
Bugs?: i hate them and they should all die. but i'm only AFRAID of bees. and not so much anymore.
Spiders?: big ones, little ones should just die.
Clowns?: depends on the clown
Doctors?: nope
Dentists?: nope
Ghosts?: nope
Tall people?: how tall? 8, 9 feet? YES.
Fat People?: nope
Old People?: nope
People with disabilities?: nope...well besides a certain someone. but she's just SCARY.
Hair metal?: nope
Metal?: nope
Emo people?: i love emo people
Gothic People?: i love gothic people
Steve Belmont?: qui est-ce?
Guns?: yes
Steve Belmont's Hair?: quoi?
Battery Acid?: ewww...not afraid of it though
Nuclear Holocausts?: fun times!
Germans?: well karl is german...but i'm not AFRAID of him.
Italians?: only if they make me eat alot
The Pope?: not unless he tries to "heal me"

Would you rather...
Pee a marble, or crap a softball?: EWWWW!!! *writes in agony*
Get stranded naked at work, or in a foreign country?: depends on where my clothes can be found
Stub your toe every 10 mins or hit your funny bone every 5 mins?: funny bone is way less painful. i wicked hate stubbing my toe!
Jam an ice pick up your nose or get your eyeball caught with a fish hook?: OWWIEEE!!!!

Which do you prefer?
Metal or Hardcore?: hardcore
Emo or Punk?: emo
Pens or Pencils?: pencils
Long hair or Short hair?: short
Cold or warm?: warm

More randomness
Write the first thing that comes to your head.: the first thing that comes to your head
How many times have you worn a dress?: oh plenty of times..................
How many times have you worn a suit?: not like an official suit, i'll get dressed up but not like tuxy.
How many times have you worn a chicken suit?: taht one time with your mom...
How many screen names have you had?: like 8...nowadays 4, 1 i really use the most
What's your favorite quote?: once bitten, twice shy. thats sooooo me!
What's your least favorite quote?: i dunno
What's your favorite curse word?: shit, wtf, crazy mofo, bitch, fuckass, go suck a fuck. i love swearing, but i keep it on the down low most of the time :D

i'm with the skater boi, i said see ya later

2004-06-18T10:13:00.000-04:00

you know what the best part of this song is? (sk8er boi by avril) its called sk8er BOI! NOT sk8er BOY! hehehehe...for those of you that dont know, a boi is a gay boy. and a grrl is a lesbian girl.

yay for random useless information!

haha so -someone- thinks i'm too into the whole gay label thing. and i think he's right...i mean like i'll go EWWW BOOBS or whatever. and i dont really mean it, i just mean to be funny or wahtever.

lately i have been considering bisexuality. i mean i hadn't thought about it TOO much. but i dont think i am...i mean i'd like to be, since it'd be alot easier for certain things, but i doubt that i am. very much so in fact. sorry girls :p

thats enough about sexual orientation for now...

so last night went AWESOMEly well but i'm not going to discuss it till i can figure out how to set it as a friend only entry. then i'll need some of you to sign up here and be my friend :)

speaking of which, the firneds links is updated..i was gonna get matts link changed but blurty isnt working. but eddy's is changed. note that friends sites is gone, maybe i'll revive it someday but not now.

new wallpaper :)

so now i'm talking to vanessa, we might try to hang out at some point and like go to the mall or something. i never really got to hang out with her much, the GSA is basically the epitome of hanging out with vanessa for me and that cant count. i know lyd would like to go with us :) speaking of lyd...where is she? i havent seen her online in DAYS. its no good. i'm having withdrawals! but now its friday so shes' going to her moms today. *phew*

ummm so what else. i LOVE this new blog its the best thing ever. it looks really good if i do say so myself.

kasey cam in and asked me if he could have 2 friends over and ride bikes and stuff.

speaking of which (you need to hear this first) we had a family conference last night as far as having friends over w/o rentals around. me and michelle are basically in charge of when katie and kasey can have friends, and we can have whoever we want. as far as the pool goes, there needs to be someone watching or whatever. i dont exactly like that idea, since...nvm. but anyway i think it all sounds fair.

so of COURSE kasey asked me if he could have friends over, and of COURSE im the sweetheart so i said yes. haha if he asked michelle she woulda said yes, only because shes obsessed with jeff. but she'd be like meh brett cant come. lol.

so today......bob wants me to go to a concert with him and dan. the unseen concert, he might be going backstage thanks to that nice girl sarah in hot topic.

he almost had me convinced to go...but meh i dunno. i'm def. going to the dashboard one though.

so last thing before i leave you all- i'm going to be reading, writing, and commenting ALOT in all of your journals now. sicne i have this now and its summer and i'll have lots of time.

as for now i'm going to go shower, eat, and figure out what im doing today.

later..........

trying something

2004-06-17T13:43:00.000-04:00

hey all! welcome to my new and improved journal! this thing totally kicks ass. i tried livejournal, greatestjournal, and xanga but none had the features i really wanted...this thing lets you change everything around. so its still the same as it was, except theres new features like commenting and the date is correct and stuff. plus the popup..but oh well.

i really like this now, its very nice and i spent hours desiging the layout.

i must give props to bob for suggesting blogger! :)

hehe robin just signed off *shakes fist* BURN IN HELL ROBIN!

ANYWAY. today kicked more ass than alot of days have. if any of you had the link to my xanga i talked about i dare you to move which is the best song EVER. and thats basically all i wrote in my xanga so far that was worth reading.

today was great, i took my final and did good i think, then ems mom drove me home, i was home by like 9:10 which i think was earlier than anyone else...esp at my house anyway. so i blasted music for a while and celebrated.

bob and i are going out tonight- to see the stepford wives. well not tonight, its on in like a half hour. so he better get out of the shower soon... :p then we'll hang out at the mall and maybe come back here after, i gotta find the rentals though.

anyway enjoy my new journal, hope you all like it. i know i do :)

COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT! COMMENT LIVE YOUVE NEVER COMMENTED BEFORE!! (and i know you havent, since i've never had that on one of my journals)

my first post

2004-06-17T12:39:00.000-04:00

just seeing how this looks and stuff. i may have to ditch my beloved xanga!

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